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Christian Living

Tame the Tongue

Be Careful What You Say

Many people today—too many—feel they have a right to say whatever they want to say, whenever they want to say it. What they forget is that this privilege also comes with a responsibility to not say some things, to at times keep quiet.

Just because we can say something, doesn’t mean we should. Sometimes silence should prevail over our speaking. We must tame the tongue.

Though this unfiltered spew of unrestrained rhetoric is most pronounced online, especially social media, it carries over from cyberspace into our physical space, tainting our in-person interactions.

This must stop.

Though the world may not know any better, Christians should.

In the Bible, we see that James agrees. He has a whole passage warning about the dangers of an uncontrolled tongue, one that both praises God and harms others with its words (James 3:1-12).

James uses the analogy of people taming animals, but no one can tame the tongue. He says it’s full of “restless evil” and “deadly poison” (James 3:7-8, NIV).

Does this mean that we have no chance of controlling our words? Of course not.

Though people may not be able to tame the tongue of others, we can—through God’s help—tame our own tongue. We can restrain what we say with Holy Spirit help.

Paul writes to the church in Ephesus telling them that when they speak truth in love it will help them grow into maturity (Ephesians 4:15). This is an ideal place to start. We say what is true, but we do so in love.

In his letter to the church in Corinth, Paul lists the characteristics of love. Love is patient and kind. It’s not envious, boastful, or proud. It doesn’t dishonor other people, isn’t selfish, and doesn’t yield to anger. It doesn’t remember the wrongs of others.

It mourns evil and celebrates truth. Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Tame the Tongue

May these traits of love guide our speech, knowing that in some cases the best thing to say is nothing. In this way, we can tame the tongue.

The tongue is a dangerous tool that we must control.

We have a responsibility to God and to others to be careful what we say. Sometimes saying nothing is the best solution.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Bible Insights

Does Jesus Offend You?

Many People Like an Easy Jesus, But Not Everyone Accepts What He Says

Jesus normally teaches the masses in parables. Though most don’t really understand what he means, they like his stories because they’re so countercultural. Inaddition, he sometimes gives them food and heals them. He’s a cool speaker who does nice things for them. What’s not to like?

Then one day he speaks to them directly. He’s blunt. There’s no compelling story, just some weird message about eating his flesh and drinking his blood. He’s not talking about actual cannibalism; it’s a metaphor—of some sorts. It’s about life and death, sacrifice and reward. Jesus offends them.

The people grumble. They complain he’s hard to understand and say no one can accept his message. Many of his followers become ex-followers. They reject him and go in search for something else, but the disciples stick around; they’re all in.

Yes, the main message of Jesus is easy. He loves everyone and opens his arms to accept us. But sometimes he’s hard to understand, too. Sometimes his message offends people. Their response is to give up on Jesus.

But I’m all in. I hope you are, too. Don’t let the message of Jesus offend you,

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is John 5-6, and today’s post is on John 6:53-68.]

Read more in Peter’s new book, Living Water: 40 Reflections on Jesus’s Life and Love from the Gospel of John, available everywhere in e-book, paperback, and hardcover.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Bible Insights

Are You At the End of Your Rope?

A Hopeless Situation

Imagine you are going down the side of a 200-foot cliff—with a 100-foot rope. At 99 feet down, you find yourself literally dangling “at the end of your rope.”

What an apt metaphor for a hopeless situation. At this juncture, there are but three options—none of them good:

  1. Try to climb back up (which is physically impossible for most people)
  2. Hang on as long as you can in hopes of an eventual rescue
  3. Give up and let go.

Eugene Peterson uses this powerful image in his paraphrase of the Bible, which puts ancient thoughts into contemporary terms. Consider the following references from The Message:

  • “You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope.” (Matthew 5:3)
  • “The owner was at the end of his rope. He decided to send his son. ‘Surely,’ he thought, ‘they will respect my son.” (Matthew 21:35)
  • “When someone gets to the end of his rope, I [Paul] feel the desperation in my bones.” (2 Corinthians 11:28)
  • “Hurry up and help us; we’re at the end of our rope. You’re famous for helping; God, give us a break.” (Psalm 79:8)
  • “Your anger [God] is far and away too much for us; we’re at the end of our rope. You keep track of all our sins; every misdeed since we were children is entered in your books.” (Psalm 90:3)
  • “Oh, God, my Lord, step in; work a miracle for me—you can do it! Get me out of here—your love is so great!— I’m at the end of my rope, my life in ruins.” (Psalm 109:21)
  • “God takes the side of the helpless; when I was at the end of my rope, he saved me.” (Psalm 116:1)
  • “Hurry with your answer, God! I’m nearly at the end of my rope. Don’t turn away; don’t ignore me! That would be certain death.” (Psalm 143:7)

When we are at the end of our rope—and it happens to all of us sooner or later—God is there to rescue us; so don’t give up.

God can help in a number of ways, either directly or indirectly: a timely visit from a friend, some encouraging advice, the perfect Bible verse, or a visit with a pastor or counselor.

But not everyone has these options. If that’s you and you’re at the rope’s end, reach out to TheHopeLine, staffed by Christian Hope Coaches. They will listen, offering understanding, encouragement, and prayer, along with practical resources to help move you in the right direction.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is Psalm 114-118, and today’s post is on Psalm 116:1.]

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

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Christian Living

A False Assumption About Church Growth

A Lesson in Reacting to the Unexpected

In college I heard an account about a struggling church who hired a minister to help them grow. He was full of energy, enthusiasm, and ideas. In no time he connected with the local community.

They responded by showing up for church on Sunday morning and for the community programs throughout the week.

By the time he reached his one-year anniversary as their pastor, the church had added programs, went to two Sunday-morning services, and had more than doubled their attendance.

And the church fired him.

A False Assumption

What neither the church leaders nor the congregation were aware of when they hired their pastor, their goal to grow their church carried an unspoken expectation, a false assumption. They anticipated the new attendees would be people just like them.

When their growth came from people who differed from them, they realized they weren’t getting the results they wanted and blamed their new pastor.

This church was in an urban location. The members, however, drove from their suburban homes to this inner-city church each Sunday.

These white-collar, middle-class people carried the false assumption that their increase in numbers would come from people just like them: white-collar, middle-class.

Yet the church didn’t reside in a white-collar, middle-class neighborhood. It sat in the middle of a diverse community of blue-collar workers along with the underemployed and unemployed.

The church members didn’t feel comfortable with this rapid shift in the demographic of their church. They blamed the minister and got rid of the problem.

The church soon returned to what it once was. Most of the locals stopped attending, the church retreated to one service, and its members ceased their outreach into the community.

Though the church members’ desire for numeric growth is admirable, their failure to embrace the outcome isn’t. Though we can understand their false assumption of what the growth would look like, we can’t excuse their reaction to it.

Love and Embrace Everyone

Their surprised results should have caused them to look inside themselves, to uncover their biases of people and who they wanted to go to church with.

Yes, embracing a different socioeconomic group might have been uncomfortable for a time, but it would’ve been a necessary interpersonal development for each of them on their spiritual journey.

Instead of embracing their commonality in Jesus and the unity he prayed for, they sought solace in the status quo and what made them feel most comfortable.

It’s easy to be critical of this close-minded congregation, yet I wonder if we are all a bit like them, just in diverse ways.

God, reveal to us our blind spots—any false assumption we may carry—and show us how to love all your people, not just those who are just like us.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

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Bible Insights

Warn One Another in Love

Consider What the Bible Says and How to Apply It

I’ve talked about the need for theological diversity in our churches. While we need to embrace those who hold different understandings of Jesus, we perhaps need to adopt a separate view of the behaviors of people who live contrary to God’s word.

Or maybe not. Instead, we need to warn one another in love.

Paul touches on this in his second letter to the church in Thessalonica. He tells them to stay away from those who do not follow his instructions. He specifically refers to what he says in that particular letter.

However, by extension, we could assume he means all the commands in the Bible.

But this might be dangerous, for we read the Bible through the lens of our experiences and not with the comprehension of the original audience or their situation.

It’s too easy to see what we want to see when we read the Bible and miss what God actually wants to communicate.

Even more worrisome is to imply that these verses offer a principal that we are to avoid those who don’t follow the words of their church leaders or spiritual guides. But this becomes even more problematic.

People are fallible, and many religious leaders have led their flocks astray by demanding compliance to some misguided belief. Don’t drink their Kool-Aid.

Who Is in Error?

We need to proceed with the utmost care before we criticize the actions of fellow believers. After all, we could be the ones in error.

If we do feel we must move in this direction, we should advance with great caution and follow Paul’s teaching in this matter: We are to not view these folks as an enemy but as a brother who needs a gentle warning.

We need to warn one another in love

I say it again, if other Christians don’t behave like we think they should, they are not the enemy. If we say anything, we need to warn them in love and not with self-righteous indignation.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is 2 Thessalonians 1-3, and today’s post is on 2 Thessalonians 3:14-15.]

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

​Enter your info and receive the free Bible Reading Tip Sheet and be added to Peter’s email list.

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Bible Insights

Having a Q and A with God

Malachi Questions God and He Responds

In the short book of Malachi, there is a reoccurring phrase “but you ask” (along with a few of variations thereof). This turns into a Question and Answer monologue, with God voicing the people’s unspoken questions and then responding.

It’s like having a Q and A with God.

Malachi records the whole thing, allowing us to explore the exchange and consider what God has to say. Although Malachi’s culture is vastly different from our reality, there are still lessons we can learn—if we are willing.

Q: How have you loved us?

A: Consider your ancestors Jacob and Esau. I loved Jacob and hated Esau. Do you get it now? (Malachi 1:2-3).

Q: How have we shown contempt for your name?

A: By giving me defiled offerings (Malachi 1:6-7).

Q: How have we defiled you?

A: By giving to me what is not suitable for anyone else (Malachi 1:7-8).

Q: Why do you no longer pay attention to our offerings or accept them?

A: You have been unfaithful to your wife and broken your marriage vows (Malachi 2:13-14).

Q: How have we wearied you?

A: By doing bad, yet claiming it is good and pleases me (Malachi 2:17).

Q: How are we to return to you?

A: Stop robbing me (Malachi 3:7-8).

Q: How do we rob you?

A: By withholding some of your tithes and offerings (Malachi 3:8-10).

Q: What have we said against you?

A: By saying it is futile to serve me when I don’t bless you for doing what is expected (Malachi 3:13-14).

Summary of a Q and A with God

These eight exchanges address the people’s relationship with God, discussing love, defiling, and contempt. It talks about offerings that don’t matter.

About the people wearying God, robbing from him, and speaking against him. And buried in the middle of the exchange is a prescription for how to return to God.

Now, let’s apply the Q and A with God to us today.

Learn more about all twelve of the Bible’s Minor Prophets in Peter’s book, Return to Me: 40 Prophetic Teachings about Unfaithfulness, Punishment, and Hope from the Minor Prophets

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

Reflecting on Church #22: Affirming One Another

A Public Sharing Time

With our journey of visiting fifty-two churches over, I can reflect more on the complete experience. Today, I’ll add to my thoughts about Church #22.

During the public sharing time that wrapped up the message at church, one of the members stands up to celebrate a person I know.

Several decades ago my friend made a lasting impact on this person while she taught Sunday school.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

Affirmed as offering acceptance, giving understanding, and providing much needed guidance, my friend forever changed this person’s life. I’m not at all surprised to hear this.

A few months later, at church #52, I see my friend and share this with her. Her eyes mist over with joy. Her lip trembles.

Then my eyes grow misty as well. “And this is nothing,” I assure her. “When we get to heaven, we’re going to hear all kinds of stories like this.”

She nods and smiles in acknowledgment.

This is what affirming one another is like. One woman publicly affirmed my friend. Later I was able to affirm my friend, offering her encouragement.

This is how church should be and what church family is all about. Among other things, we should excel in affirming one another.

[See my reflections about Church #21 and Church #23 or start with Church #1.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Bible Insights

Micah’s Personal Prescription

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly, and Hope in and Wait on God

As the prophet Micah gives a series of stinging rebukes against the nations of Israel and Judah, he takes a pause for some personal reflection.

As if keeping a journal, he wonders how he should approach God. With reverence, with offerings, with sacrifices? No. That is not what God wants.

God requires something much different, for him to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly.

Then Micah returns to his God-promoted discourse of doom. After a bit more invective, he becomes filled with remorse, saying, “What misery is mine?”

Micah then reflects some more, delving into a depressing bit of introspection, before confidently affirming that his hope is in God; Micah will wait and God will hear him.

So Micah’s personal prescription then becomes to: Act justly, love mercy, walk humbly, and hope in and wait on God.

Works for me.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is Micah 5-7, and today’s post is on Micah 6:8.]

Learn more about all twelve of the Bible’s Minor Prophets in Peter’s book, Return to Me: 40 Prophetic Teachings about Unfaithfulness, Punishment, and Hope from the Minor Prophets

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Bible Insights

An Army of Angels To Protect Us

The young girl gazes out into the desert. Something comes towards her. It is Solomon, her lover, traveling by carriage.

He is accompanied by a protective band of weapon wielding warriors, tested and poised for whatever threat awaits them.

With Solomon—and his army—she will be protected.

In a spiritual sense, this is how it is with God and us. He is coming towards us; with him, we will be protected. (That doesn’t mean there won’t be risks as we journey with him, because there will.)

We will also be afforded a band of warriors, ready to battle on our behalf. In the spiritual realm, this is an army of angels.

Centuries later, Jesus tells Satan, “Don’t you know that I could ask my Father, and right away he would send me more than twelve armies of angels?” (Matthew 26:53).

While we might not see angels, we have good reason to believe that they are nearby, ready to protect us from both physical threats and spiritual foes.

Our God, who loves us, will make sure we are protected.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is Song of Songs 1-4, and today’s post is on Song of Songs 3:6-8.]

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

​Enter your info and receive the free Bible Reading Tip Sheet and be added to Peter’s email list.

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Bible Insights

Hosea Shows Us God’s Unconditional Love

In the Bible, many of the prophets are instructed by God to do some strange and bizarre things. Isaiah is a case in point. Perhaps the most extreme, however, is Hosea.

In short, God tells him to marry a prostitute so that his life can become an object lesson of God’s unconditional love.

Imagine young Hosea coming home one day and telling his parents: “Guess what? God called me to be his prophet!”

His parents beam with pride, until a bombshell is dropped on them, “…and he told me to hook up with a prostitute.”

That seems so inappropriate, ill-advised, and ungodly, yet that is what God says to do—and Hosea obeys.

The strangeness doesn’t stop there, however. When his ex-hooker-wife gets pregnant, God tells Hosea to give the kids some unbecoming names.

His daughter is given a name that means “not loved” and his second son, a name that means “not my people.” This suggests that Hosea has reason to question who actually fathered his wife’s children.

Next, his wayward spouse splits, returning to her former way of life. So, God tells Hosea to go find her and take her back.

Although this chain of events was a horrific ordeal for Hosea, it is a profound object lesson for us: regardless of what we do, how badly we act, or how far we stray, God loves us unconditionally and pursues us relentlessly.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is Hosea 1-4, and today’s post is on Hosea 1:2-3.]

Learn more about all twelve of the Bible’s Minor Prophets in Peter’s book, Return to Me: 40 Prophetic Teachings about Unfaithfulness, Punishment, and Hope from the Minor Prophets

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.