Category: Visiting Churches

My wife and I visited 52 churches in a year. Then we attended a bunch more. Here is what we learned.

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Visiting Churches

Tips for Improvement After Visiting 52 Churches

Tips for Improvement After Visiting 52 Churches: Discover How to Attract Visitors and Keep Them Coming Back

Discover How to Attract Visitors and Keep Them Coming Back

On our year-long journey of visiting churches, we witnessed more than a few oversights, errors, and blunders that could turn off visitors. Sadly, many occurred more than once.

Here are some tips for improvement to consider to not scare away guests.

The Church Facility

Realtors stress curb appeal. So should churches. Make the outside of your building inviting for visitors, and make sure the inside continues the positive experience.

  • Clearly mark the entrances. For big facilities, make the path to the sanctuary clear.
  • Unlock the doors. And if there’s a reason you want a particular entrance locked, make it apparent before people reach it.
  • The facility needs to be clean, open, and well-lit—unless you’re going for a subdued mood. At one church the pews were so dirty I didn’t want to sit, even though I wore jeans.
  • Address building problems and consider the décor. After a while, members overlook a building’s flaws, but those are the first things visitors notice.
  • Some buildings, especially older ones, have an odor. Eliminate them. And don’t use one scent to cover up another.

Online Presence

In today’s culture, an online presence is critical to attract visitors. Short of a personal invitation, today’s younger generation won’t visit a church that lacks an inviting online presence.

Here are some tips for improvement to your internet presence.

  • Keep websites and social media pages up to date. Though closed for two years, one church’s website was still up and looked current. Avoid “coming soon” website pages, especially on sections relevant to visitors.
  • Ensure a consistent message. We witnessed many glaring differences between churches’ websites and Facebook pages (and bulletins).
  • A visitor wants to know service times and location. Provide a street address, as many will use a GPS. Also provide both a map and a written description, as some will prefer one over the other.
  • Let visitors know how to dress and what to expect.
  • Have outsiders review websites. Two churches had sites that were off-putting and downright spooky. We thought one might be a cult. Seriously.
  • Posting personal prayer requests online, in an unsecured section, is foolish and completely disregards privacy. Think through privacy laws carefully.

The Church Service (Ideas for Leaders)

People attend a church for the service. Make it easy for visitors to participate.

  • If you don’t provide Bibles, display the words overhead, as the Bible visitors bring—if they even bother—will not likely match yours. Visitors may also use a Bible reading app, but they’ll need to know which version of the Bible you use.
  • Make sure visitors know you don’t expect them to participate in the offering. You don’t, right?
  • Clearly state communion expectations and traditions since practices vary greatly.
  • Don’t continually address “visitors” as a special category. It’s okay to welcome visitors and inform them they’re exempt from certain expectations, but don’t single them out or preach just to them—especially when it’s obvious there’s only one visitor.
  • To attract new people, be accessible and user-friendly.
  • Remove—or thoroughly explain—any practice or procedure that could confuse a visitor or keep them from engaging in the service and meeting God.
  • Appoint friendly and outgoing people to seek out and engage visitors.

Have a Visitor-friendly Focus (Ideas for Laity)

To remain viable for the long term, a church needs to look outside themselves. This includes having a visitor-friendly focus.

Here are some ideas:

  • Invite a visitor to sit with you.
  • Once you know a visitor’s name, introduce them to others.
  • Keep visitors informed. If you offer coffee and donuts, make sure they know where to find them.
  • Ask if a visitor has any questions or concerns.
  • Show, don’t tell. If a visitor needs to find a certain room or asks about the restroom, don’t point, gesture, or offer vague directions. Whenever possible, take them to their destination.
  • Just because the church has appointed greeters, that doesn’t relieve everyone else from also welcoming guests. Offer a smile and a friendly face to those you don’t recognize. You may be the only one to greet them.
  • Protect visitors from members who lack boundaries or don’t comprehend social norms.

Also check out the post about greeting well.

Implement these tips for improvement to make your church more attractive to visitors and keep them coming back.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

Church Greeting

Know the 3 Church Greeting Opportunities

Greeting Well or Not at All

There are three opportunities for a church to interact with visitors: before, during, and after the service. Some churches failed at each occasion and only a few excelled at all three—though every church should.

Pre-Church Greeting

First, greeting people before the service is critical, as it’s the first impression a church makes on a visitor. Everyone should be a greeter.

This is in addition to the official greeters stationed by the front door, the minister and staff, and the ushers—for those churches that still use them.

Talking with friends before the service may be comfortable, but it’s not greeting, and it certainly isn’t welcoming to visitors.

Though a few churches treat their pre-service time with stoic reverence, you can always greet visitors before they enter the sanctuary.

At the friendlier churches, people even approach visitors already seated. But at too many churches, we didn’t interact with anyone before the service, leaving us isolated and alone. This is no way to form community.

Next, consider interaction during the service. When this occurs, it’s an announced time of greeting. This can range from awkward to invigorating. It can last too long, be too short, or feel exactly right.

The Art of Mid-Service Greeting

There’s an art to doing it well, but when done poorly, churches might be better off skipping it. Here are my suggestions for a successful mid-service greeting:

  • Make eye contact.
  • Smile.
  • A handshake is acceptable, but not everyone appreciates a hug—and to “greet one another with a holy kiss” is creepy. Though welcoming others with a holy kiss is biblical (Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, and 1 Thessalonians 5:26), don’t subject visitors to this degree of intimacy.
  • Share your name and repeat theirs if they give it.
  • Don’t be in a rush to move to the next person.
  • Focus on visitors first and friends only if time allows.

When the greeting time is a rote interaction performed with disingenuous intent, either overhaul it or omit it.

Although there were exceptions, our general conclusion was that traditional churches struggled with greeting time, while charismatic churches excelled at it. Evangelical churches filled the continuum between.

One church redefined greeting time, making it more akin to an intermission, where people could roam around, get more coffee, or grab another donut, while having extended interactions.

This church made it work well, but not every congregation could pull this off. And although we didn’t see it on our journey, I’ve been to churches that provided time during the service for group discussion with those sitting near you.

Another way to extend hospitality during church is helping a visitor navigate the service—especially at liturgical services.

Give them your hymnal when they grab the wrong one, share your bulletin to read the liturgy, or let them follow along in your Bible. You can do this without saying a word.

As a final thought, if the official greeting time is the first time someone addresses a visitor, something’s wrong.

After Church Greeting

When the first greeting occurs after the service, it seems too late to try, but it’s better than not at all. Most churches did after-church hospitality reasonably well, but a few skipped this opportunity too.

Sometimes there was a meal or snacks; food fosters connection. Other times it was just hanging out afterward, getting to know one another, making connections, and sharing our faith journeys.

All too often, one person made the difference between us feeling welcomed or ignored, singlehandedly forming our key perceptions of the church, with preaching and worship being secondary.

While applauding the efforts of that one person, the lack of effort from the rest of the congregation is sobering.

Granted, some people are naturally outgoing with a knack for hospitality, but everyone can smile and say “Hi.”

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

Visiting Churches Is a Lot Like Dating

Visiting Churches Is a Lot Like Dating: Dating Churches or Settling Down

Dating Churches or Settling Down

Visiting churches seems a lot like dating: both parties are, in theory, on their best behavior and hopeful of a positive outcome. Dating is fun—for a while.

There’s variety and excitement for each outing, but eventually an emptiness emerges, and you yearn for more. You seek connection, you want commitment, and you desire permanence.

For me, dating churches was great fun for the first half of the year. After that, the allure of new started to wear thin, and I needed to work harder to have a successful date.

This was even more challenging because we knew there would be no second dates, while the churches we visited usually hoped for more.

Even after we told them we were visiting a different church every Sunday, most persisted in wanting that second date.

Even more so, visiting churches is often akin to going on blind dates. We had familiarity with five of the churches: for three, it was one visit, while for the two others our attendance was many years ago.

However, for the other ninety percent of the churches, we arrived blind. We’d never been there before and knew little about them—except what we could find online.

A Church Dating Profile

I suppose church websites and Facebook pages correspond to a dating profile, with the best photos—sometimes out-of-date or misleading—and featuring positive traits while ignoring flaws.

The effort of a few churches to put a positive spin on their online profile was more akin to lying.

One church (Church #30, Misdirected and Frustrated) gravely misled us. We couldn’t recover from their deception and were still mad as we drove home.

That date was an epic fail.

Blind Dates

When visiting churches, just as with dates—especially blind dates—attitude is everything. Ideally you approach the outing with a positive outlook: seeking the good, striving to get along, and wanting to make things work.

Either directly or indirectly, our pre-church prayer addressed this. Though I feel I went to each church with a positive attitude, twice Candy thought otherwise and offered correction.

Conversely, some people go on their blind dates with a negative attitude. They expect things won’t work out, looking for the worst—and finding it.

Now take the dating analogy one step further. It’s like going to your date’s favorite restaurant, one you’ve never been to before.

Your date knows the menu, addresses the staff by name, is friends with the manager, has a favorite booth, and orders “the usual.”

But you know no one, are overwhelmed by the food options, and find the ambiance off-putting. Strangers come up to your date, interrupting to have personal conversations as though you’re not there and laughing over things you don’t understand.

You smile and try to make the best of it, but inside you squirm in agony.

We often felt that way at the churches we visited.

Settling Down and Getting Married

If visiting a church is analogous to dating, joining a church might correspond to marriage. When you join a church you make a commitment, and you stop seeing other churches.

There’s a comfort in knowing what to expect, who you will see, and having community for the good times and the bad: “for better, for worse, in sickness and in health.”

Though our church journey was fun, educational, faith-expanding, and ecumenically insightful, I eventually grew tired of dating churches.

I wanted to be in a church marriage, to have a church commitment and be in a faith family I could depend upon and support.

I think that’s what most people want.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

Reflections on 52 Churches

Reflections on 52 Churches: Wrapping Up Our Year of Visiting Churches

Wrapping Up Our Year of Visiting Churches

Our journey of visiting fifty-two churches is over, though the memories will last forever. With much to consider, this wrap-up pulls together key elements of our adventure.

I hope this helps you and your church better interact with and respond to visitors, as well as find new ways to connect with and serve God.

Here are some of my thoughts and reflections on 52 Churches.

Format and Size Matters

In our pilgrimage we found smaller churches (those under fifty people) generally offered more opportunity to make connections, with meaningful community apparent. But I grew weary of the ultra-small gatherings (those under twenty).

Their miniscule size made Sunday worship a struggle, and there’s little hope for their future. Without God’s supernatural intervention, they’ll plod along until their minister can no longer serve or until most of the remaining members die.

Surely, they won’t last the decade.

We also discovered that most liturgical churches—sometimes called high churches—weren’t friendly.

Though there were exceptions, the norm at these gatherings was no interaction with other attendees, not before, during, or after the service. And if anyone made contact it was often a rote effort with a disingenuous air.

This isn’t to imply non-liturgical churches—sometimes called low churches—were friendly. Though many were, some also kept visitors at a stoic distance.

Friendliness is a partner to community. At larger churches (those over a couple hundred), community presents a challenge, while anonymity unfolds with ease.

Without concerted effort we would remain a part of the unnoticed masses at these larger gatherings. Though some people prefer to slip in and slip out of church unseen, interacting with no one, what’s the point of going?

The same outcome—perhaps a better one—could result by sitting at home in front of the TV.

At smaller churches, anonymity is impossible. Although experiencing community is much more likely, there’s no guarantee, either. Arriving and leaving stealthily can’t happen, but what’s key is how they handle their visitors.

Some churches do this gracefully, bordering on celebration, while others have an awkwardness that produces squirming and embarrassment.

Granted, I’m an introvert—as is 51 to 74 percent of the population, depending on who you ask—so my extroverted counterparts may think differently.

For medium-sized churches (fifty to two hundred), some acted with large church anonymity, while others retained small church connection.

Generalizations

As already mentioned, we found liturgical churches less friendly and not as interested in fostering community, with charismatic congregations being the most embracing—even though their theology was often the most exclusive.

Likewise, larger churches struggled to personally welcome us as visitors, whereas this was less of a problem at smaller churches.

Churches with a more traditional service tended to have older congregations, whereas churches with a contemporary service skewed younger, being either completely youthful or having a good cross-section of ages.

At many churches we were among the youngest present, while at a few, we were among the oldest. When the entire congregation is over sixty-five, their future as a viable church seems bleak.

After only a few weeks of visiting, I developed a knack for predicting the type of service based solely on the appearance of the sanctuary: its condition and trappings.

Likewise, the age of the congregation and how they dressed were also sufficient to gauge the type of service we would see. At only two churches did I judge incorrectly (Church #19 and Church #45).

One observation was particularly disconcerting: Churches with older congregations and traditional services tended to be friendlier than at contemporary services with younger people.

This held true even within churches that offered both styles of service. What I’m not sure of is if the primary factor was the age of the congregation or the style of the service, because the two seem interconnected.

Last, based on a prior bad stint at an ultra-conservative Baptist church, I expected the Baptist churches we visited would be dogmatic, closed-minded, and exclusive.

I’m pleased to say that, with one exception, this didn’t prove true, although I’m dismayed that we did witness dogmatic, closed-minded, exclusive attitudes at some of the charismatic churches we visited.

This shocked me because I understood this was an old-school mindset, with the current charismatic perspective being more theologically inclusive and open-minded.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post for our overall reflections and .thoughts about church size and format.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

The Home Stretch

The Home Stretch: Wrapping Up Our Journey of Visiting 52 Churches in a Year

Wrapping Up Our Journey of Visiting 52 Churches in a Year

We’ve just completed a stint of visiting churches in three specific geographic areas. Now our focus shifts to a fourth: the churches to the east of us. We’re on the home stretch of visiting 52 churches in a year.

We’ve already visited eight of them (Churches #9, 11, 13, 15, 20, 24, 25, and 26) with scores more remaining, but we only have seven weeks to squeeze them in. We strategically select which ones we’ll visit, skipping the rest—at least for now.

Our journey is winding down. I have mixed feelings. Visiting a different church each Sunday has been fun, enlightening, and educational.

Already, I’m lamenting that our adventure will soon end. We must skip many churches, with dozens more that, although further away than ten miles, would be illuminating to visit.

But I’m anxious to return home, to revisit the familiar and reconnect with friends. The pull of reunion is powerful.

Our journey has worn on us. Every week we must plan where to go, confirm service times, and verify their location. Each Saturday night we go to bed asking, “What time is church tomorrow?”

Our schedule for the entire day hinges on the answer. We hope we’ll remember the right time and not be late. And even though you’d think I’d find visiting churches easy by now, I’m still anxious every Sunday morning.

Takeaway for Everyone: Remember that visiting a church is hard. Do everything you can to embrace visitors.

Part Four Perspective

To wrap up our adventure, we visited some of the churches (#45–52) on the western side of the area’s largest city.

Our home church, Church #53 (Home for Holy Week), which we returned to for Easter, is also in this city, located in the downtown area, but it falls outside of our ten-mile criteria at eleven miles away—and a twenty-one-minute drive.

With many more churches on our list than the number of Sundays left, it was hard to pick which ones to include. Our decisions involved much discussion between Candy and myself, a bit of give and take, and a couple of last-minute changes.

We picked churches which would provide the most varied experiences for this phase. Church #51 (The Megachurch) is our area’s largest, with #52 (Playing it Safe) and #49 (Large and Anonymous) being close behind.

These comprised our extra-large church encounters, offering insight into the pros and cons of “big.”

On the other end of the size spectrum was one small congregation, Church #48 (Small, Simple, and Satisfying) and one medium-sized congregation, Church #47 (Significant Interactions).

The rest of the churches were large congregations. Church #46 (False Assumptions) had a huge facility—suggesting a once prosperous past—but it now has barely enough attendees to fit the large category.

The other two sizable churches were Church #45 (Another Doubleheader) and Church #50 (Saturday Mass).

We included Saturday mass for multiple reasons: another Roman Catholic encounter, a church with a campus connection, and a Saturday night service.

We doubled up that weekend and one other, when we went to a Seventh Day Adventist Church (Church #31, A Day of Contrasts) on Saturday, and an Episcopal Church (Church #32, Commitment Sunday) the next day.

Although it would have been possible to double up and visit two different churches on Sunday mornings, we opted not to do so as it taxed us to go to two Sunday services at the same church.

By going to church on two Saturdays, as well as every Sunday, we were able to complete our fifty-two-church journey in fifty weeks, allowing us to return to our home church for Easter.

On this, the final phase of our journey, my thoughts center on church size, with my overarching concern for community hovering in the background. I claim I want to attend a small church, one with a close-knit and spiritually-significant community.

Yet, my actions belie that as our home church is a large one, bordering on extra-large. Also, and ironically, of the fifty-two churches we visited, Church #51 (The Megachurch) appeals to me the most.

The reason I don’t warm up to most smaller churches—the ones I claim I want to attend—is that they’re frequently older congregations. They have traditional services, don’t embrace newer methods, and are composed of aging parishioners.

I’ve often criticized older congregations, but I’m not against older people. I’m concerned for people who coast toward the finish line, hoping to hang on to the status quo until they go to heaven.

Their focus is on maintaining what they have, not expanding their church or preparing it for the next generation. Yes, they say they want their congregation to grow, but it’s often little more than a hope.

In vain, they expect that if they keep doing what they’ve always done, they will one day gain members. These congregations seldom do something different to attract new people.

Even though using newer practices might help embrace visitors, that would make the people of the church uncomfortable. And comfort, as they drift toward life’s end, is what they seek.

Though there are certainly exceptions, this is the attitude in most older congregations.

That brings me to Church #48 (Small, Simple, and Satisfying). By far the smallest church on the final leg of our journey, and one of the smallest overall, this church holds great appeal.

They earn high marks for conducting their service without the help of paid clergy or a guest speaker, which they did with excellence. They improved many aspects of a typical church experience.

This includes the placement of the cross, how they communicate announcements, the congregation praying without first sharing their needs, many members being involved in the service, and the easy, informal fellowship time afterward.

I assume these are all intentional tweaks made to maximize worship and strengthen community. They possessed a real sense of family, which all churches should have, but too many don’t.

Though the service was more formal than I prefer, it’s easy to overlook, given all the other pluses. My one concern is their future.

Candy and I were among the youngest present, so without an infusion of younger attendees, the church could be serving its final generation.

Though many of these older members are young in their heart, this church offers little to attract a younger crowd who can sustain and perpetuate it.

This isn’t their dilemma alone, but one shared by all the small churches we visited, as well as some medium-sized ones.

If the solution to numeric decline was obvious, churches would pursue it, but the only small churches I’ve ever seen grow are new ones. The established ones keep getting smaller until they close. This isn’t a lament so much as a reality.

The real problem is expectation. A congregation—or even denomination—shouldn’t expect to continue forever. Instead, it’s organic, following an expected life cycle: gestation, birth, growth, plateauing, slowing down, dying, and death.

In fighting this natural progression, members turn their focus away from worship, community, and outreach to concentrate on survival, as if that’s the goal. But it’s not; God is.

Yes, leaders can take steps to lengthen the life of a local church or denomination, but to assume it can—or even should—live forever, misses reality. The only way to last indefinitely is to become an institution.

With religious institutions, the primary focus switches from God to ensuring survival. Paid staff eventually place their continued employment ahead of all else, losing passion for their primary mission.

God isn’t impressed with our religious institutions or the people who strive to sustain them. What he desires are followers who will make a difference, advancing his kingdom for his glory—not their own agenda.

Our Home Church

Although outside our ten-mile requirement and fifty-two-week window, I shared about our home church. What happens there contrasts—often sharply—with many of our church visits.

Although some aspects at a few of the churches were like our home church, none of them matched it.

Our home church remains the lens through which Candy and I evaluate other congregations. Our children did this, too, with their experiences at our home church forming their expectations when they moved and sought a new church.

I’m sad our adventure is over, and at the same time, I’m glad to reconnect with friends and once again establish a regular rhythm to our Sunday worship routine.

Takeaway for Leaders: Individual churches should be organic, with an eventual life cycle that will one day end.

The only way to ensure they last forever is to turn them into a religious institution. Don’t do that.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post as we anticipate what is to come and review what happened.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Visiting Churches

Visiting 52 Churches, Part Three

Tips for Churches: Greeting Well and Forming Community are Key

A Recap of Churches 27 through 44

The churches are starting to blur. Every week seems the same, offering only slight variations on a theme. I’m growing weary of our journey. I’ve realized this for a few weeks but didn’t want to admit it.

Yes, I still notice kindnesses offered and innovations presented at the various branches of Jesus’s church. But I worry that I notice more the actions that discourage me and disparage the reputation of my savior.

Have I become cynical? Am I truly able to see what God wants me to see?

My prayers before we leave for church lack freshness. Have they become vain repetition? Matthew 6:7 in the KJV says, “But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.”

My anticipation for the service is no longer as expectant, yet God prevails and teaches me anyway.

For the first half of our journey, I picked our destinations solely by the driving distance from our home.

But heading in different directions each Sunday became disconcerting, making it challenging to synthesize an understanding of congregations within communities.

In retrospect, I should have divided our fifty-two churches into four groups: those within our local school district, those in the village to our west, those in the village to the southwest of us, and those on the western edge of the city to our east.

For the third part of our adventure we focused on the first three of these geographic areas, while remaining within ten miles of our house. This allowed us to better comprehend the churches within their local context.

The village to our west has twenty-one churches. We visited twelve in the first half of our journey, calling on the remaining nine for this phase (Churches #27–36). Together they comprise a wide-ranging group, offering an array of options.

Next, we turned our attention to the village to our southwest, with its five churches (#37–41). Although one was struggling, the other four weren’t.

They were vibrant and growing, each with its unique appeal and offering a different approach to worshiping God.

To conclude this phase of our sojourn, we visited the remaining three churches in our local school district (Churches #42–44).

Along with Churches 1 through 7, these ten churches are noteworthy because our local food pantry serves people living in the school district. Sometimes pantry clients ask me about area churches.

Now that I’ve visited all ten, I can share firsthand information, directing people to the one that best meets their needs and preferences.

Some of our clients attend church outside of the area, and I’ve seen them at several of the gatherings we’ve visited. I have mixed feelings about this.

Part of me wishes each congregation would care for the needs of their own, while the other part of me would decry each church replicating the same program.

Having an area food pantry is not only practical, but it’s also a great community service, with five of the district’s ten churches involved in a truly ecumenical outreach.

Greeting and Community

At the halfway point in our journey, I noted the importance of community, with some churches excelling at it, a few failing, and most falling somewhere in between.

The prelude to community is greeting. Churches that greet well embrace visitors and foster connections.

Liturgical churches, I observed, struggle with greeting and fail at community.

Fortunately, this isn’t an absolute principle, merely a tendency. Church #43 (A Welcoming Church with Much to Offer) and Church #32 (Commitment Sunday and Celebration) proved liturgical churches can greet well and foster meaningful community.

Church #43 excelled at this, perhaps even more so than the non-liturgical Church #22 (A Caring Community). Two other non-liturgical churches that greeted well were Church #38 (A Refreshing Time) and Church #41 (People Make the Difference).

I’d like to revisit them all, simply because of the amazing way they greeted, welcoming us into their community. We made connections. We had relevant conversations. We shared a spiritual camaraderie.

There are three opportunities to greet visitors: before, during, and after the service. Churches need to master all three. Few do, but Church #43 did.

Two churches ignored us beforehand and had no greeting time during the service, but they did embrace us afterward: Church #28 (Intriguing and Liturgical) and Church #35 (A Well-Kept Secret).

But it’s hard to overcome a bad first impression. While Church #28 did, enough so that I want to return, Church #35 didn’t.

The opposite error is not ending well. Church #27 (A Charismatic Experience) ignored us afterward. With no one who approached us and no one available for us to approach, we had two choices: stand there and look pathetic or leave. We left.

Then, one church, a non-liturgical one, failed at all three opportunities: they ignored us. This was Church #31 (A Day of Contrasts). It was as if we were invisible.

Though their service was most impressive, their cold demeanor isolated us, effectively pushing us out the door as soon as the service ended.

Yes, they did have two assigned greeters at the front door, but the personable pair couldn’t overcome the 150 indifferent people inside.

Yes, greeting well is important. Without it, visitors cannot hope to find community. So why would they want to come back?

Highs and Lows of Our Journey

Overall, our time at charismatic gatherings continues to disappoint.

While Church #27 (A Charismatic Experience) came close to providing a true charismatic encounter—or at least my perception of one—they also had some disconcerting shortcomings, including a rambling message and not being friendly.

The narrow doctrine at Church #34 (Acts Chapter Two) and Church #36 (The Surprise) especially dismayed me.

Like Church #14 (The Pentecostal Perspective), they placed an unbiblical emphasis on speaking in tongues, viewing it as a requirement to signify true salvation.

Church #42 (High Expectations and Great Disappointment) went to the opposite extreme, dismissing charismatic followers of Jesus as heretics and doing so with a most dogmatic fervor.

The way these otherwise well-meaning clergy divide Jesus’s church grieves me.

This error, of rejecting other Christians because they fail to meet some personally held opinion, is perhaps the biggest shortcoming we’ve seen at any of the churches.

I wonder if they’ve lost their first love. (Consider John’s stinging rebuke in Revelation 2:4–5 against the church in Ephesus). Do they truly comprehend what it means to follow Jesus? I seriously doubt it.

Conversely, Church #29 (Led by Laity) greatly encouraged me; they conducted their entire service without any clergy. I wish more churches would follow their example.

I beg churches to do so. Through Jesus we are all priests. We shouldn’t need ministers to do for us what we’re supposed to do ourselves. (See 1 Peter 2:5, 9 as a starting point.)

In considering Church #37 (Another Small Church), sometimes a church just needs to close. This church has more people on the outside trying to save it, than there are local people who attend.

Yes, God can do the impossible, but without a clear instruction from him to persevere, the wise action, the prudent option, is to simply shut down and stop wasting resources on an unpromising situation.

Interestingly, there was once local interest for this church to merge with another, but their respective denominations wouldn’t permit it. Their decision was self-serving and not kingdom-focused.

Lastly, some churches, despite many good traits and positive elements, showed us some bizarre practices:

  • Greeting strangers with a holy kiss was creepy, Church #28 (Intriguing and Liturgical).
  • Church #30 (Misdirected and Frustrated) duped us into attending Sunday school and angered me.
  • Avoiding all forms of promotion made them hard to find, Church #35 (A Well-Kept Secret). We stumbled upon them by accident.
  • Cancelling services because the minister was called away disappointed us, Church #36 (The Surprise). Hold services anyway. Church #29 (Led by Laity) did.
  • Having a dirty sanctuary made me reluctant to sit down, Church #37 (Another Small Church). The overall neglected condition of their facility didn’t help.
  • Heading to a restaurant after the service was interesting but unusual. Arming us all with coupons may not have left the best impression on the restaurant staff, Church #39 (A Great Way to End the Year).

Takeaway for Everyone: Set divisive theology aside and celebrate commonality in Jesus. Seek ways to work with other churches, not oppose them.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post about our journey of visiting 52 churches, along with two more questions that precede it.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Categories
Visiting Churches

52 Churches: The Second Quarter

At Church, Christian Community Matters

Preparing to Visit Our Next 13 Churches

Going forward in our journey of visiting 52 Churches, we may bypass more churches on our list to vary the scope of our adventure.

So far, we’ve skipped one that wasn’t a Christian gathering and another because they were in limbo, pending a turnaround.

The next thirteen churches on our list promise a wider variation of experience. This excites me. I also see some churches we’ll exclude because they don’t hold much promise for additional variation.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

Our journey is about growth and discovery, not about thoroughly covering every option in a precise order.

Though we have a plan, the plan is flexible.

Takeaway for Everyone: Plan, but be flexible. Fixating on the plan, as well as having no plan, will miss opportunities that arise.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

Part Two Perspective: Churches 14 through 26

We’re now half done with our journey. For the past twenty-six weeks we’ve sought to expand our understanding of how others worship God. I blog about our visit each Monday morning, but friends frequently ask for more.

“What are you learning?”

“That God’s church is more diverse and varied than I ever imagined.”

“Is your journey changing?”

“No. We’re still planning to return to our home church when we’re done.”

“Do you want to revisit any of the churches?”

“Yes.” I start to reel off a list along with my reasons, but they don’t seem interested in the details. Why do they ask if they don’t care about the answers?

Aside from these questions, a sobering realization is that church is not about the teaching or the music. It’s about community.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

We’ve heard messages from gifted speakers and those not-so-talented, the formally trained and the self-taught.

We’ve heard deep thoughts and entertaining fluff. But in all cases, we received a worthwhile word from God. I suspect if we pray expectantly and are open to hear, we will.

Similarly, we’ve sung traditional hymns, modern songs, and contemporary praise choruses. Accomplished vocalists, struggling crooners, and everything in between have led us in worship.

There have been worship bands, pipe organs and pianos, accompaniment tracks, recorded songs, and even a cappella. If we focus on the words, we praise God regardless of musical style.

Nonetheless, message and music, I’m sad to report, aren’t important—not really. The big variable is community. Aside from that often-awkward official greeting time during the service, community is a meaningful time of spiritual interaction with others.

When we make connections with others, we share Jesus. God is more present in these informal exchanges before and after the service than during the planned and prepped moments of the service.

A few churches have no community. People come, people sit, and people leave, without saying a word. This is not church as God intended.

Church #18 (Revisiting Roman Catholicism) had no community. Church #17 (A Doubleheader) and Church #16 (Something’s Missing) had minimal community. They gave us no reason to return.

Fortunately, most churches allow community to some degree and a few excel at it. I want to revisit these churches. Community is church at its best.

4 Standout Churches

Four churches stood out in their embrace of us. Though our visit could have been an anomaly, I suspect all visitors would receive a similar welcome.

Many churches have an official greeter or two and most have a couple of outgoing people who reach out to visitors, but at Church #22 (A Caring Community) it seemed everyone reached out to us.

We met so many people who were genuinely interested in getting to know us. They were sincere, accepting, and engaging.

At Church #25 (Embarking on a Metamorphosis, Part 2), we enjoyed many friendly conversations beforehand, had people invite us to sit with them, and enjoyed significant interaction afterward.

The after-church community at Church #19 (A Near Miss) was also great. We talked with many people, made connections, and learned about their church, ministry philosophy, and vision. It felt as if we were at a family reunion with extended relatives.

At Church #14 (The Pentecostal Perspective) many members of the congregation were friendly. We felt welcomed before and during the service, enjoying spiritually-significant conversations.

Unfortunately, their narrow theology placed us on the outside. They would never fully accept us into their community.

Receiving honorable mention are the two minority congregations: Church #26 (An Unknown Situation) and Church #20 (Different Language, Same God). Both were extremely friendly, but we failed to make deep connections with anyone at either church.

For the first, this was due to language differences and for the second, cultural differences, though I should note, we weren’t in the target demographic at either church.

Avoid a Consumerism Mentality

A second observation also stems from the preaching and singing. Consumerism is rampant in the modern church. The mantra of many churches, especially the larger ones, is “excellence in everything.”

Doing whatever God calls us to do to the best of our abilities is God-honoring. He deserves nothing less. Unfortunately, pursuing excellence can feed into a consumer mentality.

Many people seek a church with the most engaging speaker and professional musicians.

When they find it, they join that church—and stay there until a better preacher or music comes along. They are church consumers, looking for the best value. They forget about community and never ask what they can give to a church.

I’m not being overly critical. How many times have you heard someone leave a church because “I’m just not being fed anymore”? I’ve heard it, and I’ve even said it. Its cousin is “it’s just not meeting my needs.”

Although both complaints sound sincerely spiritual, they reveal a consumer mindset: “What will church do for me?” If this church can’t meet my needs, I’ll find one that does.

The result is church shopping and church hopping. This isn’t God-honoring, and we should be ashamed.

A third item is church size. Size does matter and bigger isn’t better.

There’s a progression: Excellence in preaching and music triggers a consumer reaction, so churches that excel in these areas attract bigger crowds. They grow and may even become a megachurch.

Connection and Community

From the perspective of structure, resources, programs, staff, and efficiency, bigger churches have a huge advantage. This plays well in today’s society, but it isn’t the purpose of church.

Church is to connect people with God and with each other.

This is hard, if not impossible, to do with any degree of intimacy and integrity at a large church. That’s why they form small groups, promoting smallness within the structure of largeness.

I’m using small groups in a generic sense. The actual labels vary: small groups, life groups, Bible studies, pods, service teams, and fellowship groups.

At the churches with, say, more than two hundred people, no one knows if you’re a visitor and few care. If you want to get lost in a crowd, go to a big church. If you want community, seek a smaller one.

These are the three key insights God showed me in the past six months. Our church visits confirm it. I’m not down on church, but I wonder if today’s church has lost its way.

Contemplating this, I blogged, asking “What Is Church?“:

“Church isn’t about message or music. Those are often distractions or settling for less than the best. True church is about community, where we are all priests, with each one giving and receiving, mutually edifying and encouraging one another on our faith journey.”

I’m sure we’ll learn more on the second half of our journey. I can’t wait for what else God has planned for us.

Takeaway for Everyone: True church is about community. The message and music are secondary—and may even distract from what really matters.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

 

Categories
Visiting Churches

52 Churches: Part One Perspective

Our Extended Christian Family includes the United Methodist Church

Here’s an Overview After Visiting Our First 13 Churches

We’re one-quarter of the way through our journey. It’s been more than what I’d hoped for and at the same time, not as much of what I expected.

In attending the churches closest to home in our rural, white, middle-class area I expected little racial diversity, and we saw even less.

Although I could assume our few local minorities don’t go to church, it’s more likely they aren’t attending the ones nearby. This lack of racial diversity reflects poorly on the nearly all-white churches we’ve visited.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

Despite areas of concern, I liked each of the thirteen churches and, if needed, any one could become my church home, though some would take much more effort than others.

Notable and Intriguing Churches

But finding a new church isn’t our goal. Our mission is to expand our worship of God and meet our extended Christian family. Still, three churches grab my attention:

Church #7 (The New Church) draws me. I like that they’re truly nondenominational and unaffiliated. Even more, I appreciate their many unchurched and under-churched attendees, as well as their goal of growing deeper.

As a bonus, they recently moved and are now the third closest church to our home, a scant 1.4 miles away. Their community calls me.

Both United Methodist churches hold an appeal, but the second one, Church #12 (More Methodists, More Food), edges out the first.

This is in part because they’re in our rural area, whereas the first, although slightly closer to our home, has more affinity with the nearby city I’ve become weary of driving to.

I also really like the pastor there. Her quiet reverence in leading worship guides me into God’s presence like nothing I’ve ever enjoyed at church.

The United Methodist Church, however, periodically relocates its ministers, and I wonder if I’d still feel drawn to the church once they reassign her. She’s already been there six and a half years, and I suspect she’ll move on soon.

Church #5 (Catholics are Christians Too) has a pull for me, likely because they’re an enigma. There’s much I could learn from them about worshiping God.

Unfortunately, their service isn’t accessible to outsiders, and it would be hard to make friends there since there’s little community.

Additionally, I’d like to make repeat visits to Church #3 (It Only Hurts When You Care) and Church #8 (A Grand Experiment).

For the first one, I want to witness a typical service there, whereas for the second, I wonder if I’d still be as interested in their community after a second visit. I fear I wouldn’t, so maybe it’s best not to return.

Candy says that out of the thirteen, Church #2 (Growing Deeper, Not Wider) is her preference. It, too, has a strong draw for me. This makes sense as its worship style and age demographics are the most like our home church.

My only concern is that their doctrine is much narrower than mine, and I fear I would soon chafe under its teaching.

Key Observations

Overall, and most disconcerting, is the correlation I’ve seen between the members’ age and dress compared to their facility and worship style.

If you show me the building and service, I’ll predict the audience’s age and what they’ll wear. Alternately, tell me the age and attire of attendees, and I’ll predict the type of service and even the character of the facility.

The question is causality. Does an aging congregation produce a traditional service in a dated facility or does a traditional service in a dated facility attract an older crowd?

Conversely, does a younger or multigenerational gathering create a contemporary service in a nontraditional setting or does a contemporary service in a nontraditional setting attract a younger or multigenerational crowd?

Instead of wondering which caused what, the greater insight is to simply note a connection between attendee age and service style. I suspect the two go together.

Older congregations with traditional services face a deadly downward spiral, with one feeding into the other, which only exacerbates the trend.

I see no long-term hope for these aging congregations and no realistic way to rejuvenate them—aside from supernatural intervention. Pray that God will intervene.

Parting Thoughts

So far, this adventure has been great. Part of me doesn’t want it to end after fifty-two weeks, as there are a couple hundred churches within easy driving distance, but another part of me wonders if I have the stamina to persevere to the end.

Added to this are churches that warrant repeat visits. I also wonder what I might learn about Christianity by visiting non-Christian faith gatherings.

Despite that, I also miss having regular community with close friends.

With all this in mind, we press on.

Takeaway for Everyone: Many churches operate as they always have, unaware that society has changed and seeks something different. The future of these congregations is in jeopardy.

[Check out the discussion questions for this post.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Categories
Visiting Churches

52 Churches Infographic

Get your 52 churches infographic

Learn More about 52 Churches

Discover more in the 52 Churches infographic to see key insights and data about the churches my wife and I visited in a year as covered in my book 52 Churches .

52 Churches infographic, from the book 52 Churches, by Peter DeHaan

Click on the above image to get a better look or download your own copy of the 52 Churches infographic.

Whether or not you’ve read the book, check out this insightful 52 Churches infographic about visiting fifty-two churches in a year for a quick visual overview of key findings.

Here’s a bit about our adventure:

My wife and I visited a different church every Sunday for a year. This book is our story.

52 Churches is part religious exposé, part travel memoir, and 100% authentic. Peter refuses to hold back his punches. You’ll cringe when this Christian author is singled out by a fire-and-brimstone preacher, unnecessarily determined to save his soul out of hell. You’ll find yourself thankful that you weren’t in Peter’s shoes when the pastor told his congregation to greet one another with a holy kiss.

You’ll read about Christian practices that are far different from your own, and in the process gain a deeper understanding of believers from all walks of life and denominational backgrounds: Protestant mainline, evangelical, and charismatic, Roman Catholic, and more.

Discover just how vast, diverse, and amazing Jesus’s church is.

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Categories
Visiting Churches

An Organizational Metamorphosis

Make Your Church Better

We’ll Bypass Visiting This Church (For Now)

So far, we’ve visited twelve churches.

With one exception—a spiritual community that wasn’t exclusively Christian—we’ve faithfully attended every church on our list, according to their distance from home.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

As our journey continues, we’ll skip some to maximize the breadth of our experience.

The first church we’re skipping is a mainstream denomination church. There are two reasons: We’ve visited this church several times before with a family member.

Second, the church has been struggling of late and is embarking on an organizational metamorphosis. They are in a time of transition from which a new church will hopefully emerge.

This new gathering will have a fresh perspective, a different pastor, and a new name. They will be reborn. Since this is all in the planning stage, we’ll set this church aside.

If their transformation progresses, we’ll visit later. And if this strategy doesn’t work, there will be nothing left to see.

It’s a tough time for the faithful few who remain. I pray for a successful organizational metamorphosis.

Takeaway for Everyone: Every church will at some time struggle. Make sure that season doesn’t turn away visitors.

[Update: though it took a while, we do eventually visit this church. I call it a reboot. I think it was worth the wait. Read about that experience.]

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.