Category: Personal Posts

Blog posts by Peter DeHaan, many of which are in his book Woodpecker Wars.

Living with Family: A Wonderful Opportunity

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date May 2, 2019
2 Comments on Living with Family: A Wonderful Opportunity

I remember when my wife and I have lived with our son and daughter-in-law, it’s been a great experience for us and a wonderful time connecting with our kids in a deeper, more meaningful way.

After only eight weeks, we’ve gone through three phases:

1. The Honeymoon Phase

For the first few weeks, everything went smooth, dare I say perfect. Our sharing of one house, of melding two couples used to living by themselves into one family unit, flowed forth like a dream.

We shared household duties and melded our schedules with ease. Eating together, going for walks, and having deep discussions all unfolded naturally. It was bliss.

2. The Adjustment Phase

Eventually, a few cracks appeared. We began to expose our quirks and saw each other’s foibles. Whereas we once only saw one another’s strengths, now weaknesses poked through.

We began adjusting what we did, how we did it, and when we did it for the sake of unity.

Though we all made small sacrifices for one another since the first day, now we began to realize it. Just as living as a couple requires flexibility, even more so does living as an extended family.

3. The Settling Down Phase

While we continued to make adjustments, we were settling into a comfortable, peaceful co-existence. It’s not perfect, as in the honeymoon phase, but it is really great.

A stable arrangement has emerged; this is sustainable, and it is good.

A Wonderful Opportunity

My wife and I view this as a great adventure, a time to connect more deeply with our kids and learn from each other. Though we expect that to be a five-month living arrangement, a friend of mine did the same thing for five years.

For her, when the parents moved on, there was a great sense of loss. I expect the same emotion. Though would it be good when my wife and I move on and resume living as one couple, I wonder if what we give up will be more profound.

In today’s modern society we celebrate individualism; we value our freedom. What we lose in the process is the opportunity to truly live as an extended family, to influence each other and learn from one another, to fully connect.

Our affluence actually serves to isolate us. Living as an extended family, whether by choice or circumstance, offers the opportunity to live more fully in community.

If we can embrace this opportunity, we will emerge better and stronger as a result.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags family, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

I’ve Got Water, How About You?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date April 15, 2019

Although April began with the proverbial showers that are reputed to bring May flowers, it has been quite arid the past two weeks. So much so that I have had to resort to watering my lawn.

I feel a bit guilty doing so.

You see, as I dump hundreds of gallons of pure, clean water on my lawn, over a billion people on this planet have no clean water drink.

I would gladly forgo my lawn watering ritual if it would somehow quench the thirst of those with parched throats.

But alas, any water sacrifice that I make in Michigan does nothing to satiate those who are thirsty in third-world countries.

Even so, there are ways to help. Countless organizations provide inexpensive and simple water filtration units to those with dirty, germ-laden, disease-infested water. Even a small donation can provide a safe source of water to those in need.

Other organizations drill wells in areas lacking nearby surface water. Wells are more expensive, but can serve thousands for many years.

I just did a Google search for “provide clean drinking water” and was treated to 284 million matches—I’m sure one of those organizations will click with you.

So, go ahead and irrigate your lawn if you must, just remember to do your part to “water” thirsty people in the process.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags nature, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

Do You Lie to Your Doctor?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date April 10, 2019

At work I received a shocking press release. In part of it said, “It’s an open secret in healthcare communities: patients lie.”

The reasons were many. Some lie because they don’t want to admit unhealthy behaviors to their doctors. For others, by not voicing a concern they subconsciously deny its existence.

Still, others make their own determinations as to what’s important and what’s not, lying to keep from revealing what they deem to be irrelevant.

Yet I think I understood this.

I’ve made casual comments to doctors and the next thing I know they would want to schedule me for a series of tests unrelated to my visit or they would prescribe a medicine for a minor issue and the drug’s side-effects were worse than my minor ailment.

Sometimes these trivialities were verbally regurgitated visit after visit, long after I’ve forgotten them. As in, “Are you still suffering from blurred vision?”

I respond, “That was three years ago and I haven’t accidentally poked myself in the eye since then.”

Too often doctors only half listen. Once they hear a certain keyword, they tune out the details that surround it. They leap to diagnosis or treatment for a problem that isn’t there.

Sometimes when we lie to doctors, it’s simply to keep them from reaching a wrong conclusion and subjecting us to needless pain.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags health, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

Seeing Life Like a Child

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date April 3, 2019

Lessons From a Kid’s Matinée

I’m a bit of a movie buff and most any genre will do. I still remember when my wife and I went to our local theater to watch the children’s movie, The Smurfs 2. It was a matinée no less; we were by far the oldest people there.

I enjoyed the sequel, perhaps even more so than the first one. As a bonus, both stayed true to the original cartoon series, protecting the theme and characters, while smartly extending the storyline.

Overall The Smurfs 2 provided us with some charming entertainment.

The movie, however, also had some over-the-top, slapstick scenes. The first time this happened, my wife and I snorted a bit and shook our heads with incredulity. “I can’t believe it,” she whispered. She groaned and rolled her eyes in disdain.

Had we been alone, I’d have surely done the same back to her, but before I could, the kid’s laugher overwhelmed me.

Theirs wasn’t a pleasant chuckle or even a spontaneous giggle but a deep, unrestrained belly laugh that permeated the theater. Perhaps, it was the most hilarious thing they’d ever seen.

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed, too. Yes, the scene was stupid (by my standards), but the kids delighted in its excessive, exaggerated buffoonery. They we tended to hold back emotion and restrain ourselves, but I delighted in them.

Similar scenes followed. I laughed aloud. Not that it was funny, but I enjoyed it simply because they enjoyed it. Their laughter became my laughter; their glee produced my glee.

As we grow older, we risk becoming jaded, cynical, and hard to impress. We tend to hold back emotion and restrain ourselves. These kids reminded me just how foolish that is.

May that part of me never grow up. May I always delight in seeing life through the eyes of a child.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags family, movies, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date March 19, 2019

We just recently celebrated St. Patrick’s Day. Though most view it as a secular holiday, the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day has a religious origin.

This has been lost over time, with his work and accomplishments having been long forgotten by most people.

After embarking on your favorite St. Patrick’s Day rituals and routines, don green attire, or imbibe in adult beverages of questionable coloration, let’s have a quick review. But, don’t worry; you will not be tested on this material.

Patrick is not really a Saint. That is, he was not canonized by Rome.
He was not Irish. He was English.
He did not rid Ireland of snakes. That is folklore.
Patrick did go to Ireland. Actually, he went twice, the first time, unwillingly as a slave; the second time willingly, as a missionary.
For 30 years, he traveled Ireland, promoting Christianity and setting up churches and monasteries

He died on March 17, 461 (yes, a long, long time ago), marking the day that we commemorate his life—by celebrating his myth.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags holiday, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

Daylight Saving Time

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date March 13, 2019

Last weekend, most of us in the United States had set our clocks forward one hour for our springtime jump into Daylight Saving Time (DST).

We will stay in this mode for seven months, at which time we will “fall” back to “normal time.”

This means that every man, woman, and child in the US will realize an annual time savings of exactly—zero.

That’s right; it is a gross misrepresentation that Daylight Saving Time actually saves time. All it does is shift the clock setting forward one hour so that dusk has the allusion of being delayed.

Of course, the tradeoff for this is that dawn likewise seems to arrive one hour later. So on one end, we seemingly have more time to play and on the other side, more time to sleep in. Yeah, right!

The result is that no time is created or lost in the process, merely the perception by some that they actually gained something through this temporal sleight of hand.

So, what will you do with all this extra time that you save?

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

How Much Does it Cost?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date March 5, 2019

I’m not one who spends money easily or frivolously. It should surprise no one that at some point in a purchase decision I will deliberate on the cost of the item in question.

Can I afford it? Is it within my budget? Is this a wise use of my money? Will I derive sufficient value? Is this an emotional or intellectual decision? If I buy this item now will it preclude a more relevant purchase later? Yeah, I do that.

When I’m at a restaurant I also look at prices. No, I don’t ask all of the above questions, but cost is an important consideration.

For the first part of my life, price was a financially practical contemplation. Did I have enough money to pay the bill? I would only order what I could pay for with cash—be it with bills or coins.

I’m at a different place today. Though I never want to overpay for a meal, the primary reason I look at prices now is that I perceive price as being an indicator of the quantity of food.

You see, I was taught to eat everything on my plate and to not waste food, so what the restaurant gives me, I will eat, even if I’m full.

If the portion is too big, I will end up eating too much. So I resort to judging the amount of food by the cost of the meal.

Though not an error-free method, it always serves to save me money and often serves to save my waistline.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags marketing, money, Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

Does Freedom of Speech Have a Responsibility?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date February 18, 2019

One of the core tenets of living in the United States is a right we revere: “Freedom of Speech.”

Within very broad limits (such as not screaming “Fire” in a crowded room) we, in the USA, enjoy the freedom to say what we want, when we want, and in the way we want. At least in theory.

But if everyone is talking, then no one is listening. The flip side of “freedom of speech” then is the “responsibility to listen.”

That doesn’t mean we need to actually hear and consider every voice, but it does mean we need to show respect.

Our freedom of speech doesn’t permit us to yell louder than someone else, shouting them down and thereby denying them their right to speak.

Sadly, I see this happening today, especially when the voice is advocating something unpopular or a “politically incorrect” view.

We are beginning to lose sight of all that freedom of speech entails. And if that happens completely, we might lose even more, including the very right itself.

[Freedom of Speech is provided for in Article 1 of the Bill of Rights.]

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags Sacred-Secular Divide

Personal Posts

There Has to be a Better Way

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date February 6, 2019

I don’t know if I wasn’t listening or am slow to catch on, but it wasn’t until later in life that I realized how to land a job:

The purpose of a resume is to secure an interview,
the purpose of an interview is to sell yourself well enough to receive an offer, and
the purpose of an offer is to negotiate a compensation package for your new job.

Silly me. I thought that people should just hire me because I could do the work—and would do it well. (I wouldn’t have applied if I didn’t believe that.)

I viewed the application/resume and interview steps as unnecessary irritations in the process.

As far as compensation negotiations, just skip that part and pay me what I am worth.

The sad reality is that—except for a few positions, such as sales or marketing—being able to pen a compelling resume or conduct a convincing interview is no measure of one’s ability to actually do a job, merely their ability to obtain a job.

The result is that unsuited people are hired and—I fear—good people are overlooked. There has to be a better way.

The same is true in politics. You need to be able to raise money to campaign and you need to be able to debate well to raise your poll numbers and you need to speak with conviction to create interest among the electorate.

But these skills have little bearing on your ability to lead well. Whether it is obtaining a job or being elected, the conventional processes do not allow the best person to prevail.

There has to be a better way.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags Sacred-Secular Divide, work

Personal Posts

Three Kinds of Capitalism

Capitalism is under fire. Pundits take potshots at capitalism. They decry its evil nature and harmful outcomes. Indeed much of this criticism is warranted. Just look at the many people who practice it wrong. I call this, greedy capitalism.

Greedy Capitalism

Greedy capitalism is the insatiable lust for more. Profits, not for any real purpose other than to increment their money scorecard by another dollar.

Monetary gains sought with no ethical compass to guide it. This includes exploiting workers, defrauding investors, cheating on taxes, stealing from the innocent, backstabbing stakeholders, and insider trading. The list goes on.

It’s no wonder practitioners of greedy capitalism receive the sneers of those who witness it. Yet not all capitalism is greedy. There are two other kinds we don’t often hear about.

Entrepreneurial Capitalism

Entrepreneurial capitalism is the backbone of prosperity. It’s the driver of small business, those men and women with a vision to produce a product or provide a service.

For their efforts, they dream of earning a profit to care for themselves and provide for their families.

Entrepreneurial capitalism is the backbone of what made the United States great. It is us pulling themselves up by our bootstraps. We pursue industry, raise our standard of living, and become self-sufficient.

Yet there is a risk when entrepreneurial capitalists become too successful, when profits far exceed needs. Then they place themselves at risk of becoming a greedy capitalist, but there is a third option, a higher calling.

Philanthropic Capitalism

Enterprise for the benefit of society.

This is where philanthropic capitalism come in. Its vision is to first provide for oneself and then to care for others: donating money to worthy causes, financially supporting others so they can help those in need, using business as a means to benefit humanity.

Capitalism is good. Greed is bad. Join me in decrying greedy capitalism, while upholding the virtue of entrepreneurial capitalism and philanthropic capitalism.

May we use money wisely to care for ourselves and benefit others.

Do you like this post? Want to read more? Check out Peter’s book, Bridging the Sacred-Secular Divide: Discovering the Spirituality of Every Day Life, available wherever books are sold.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Tags family, money, Sacred-Secular Divide