Exploring Eros, Storge, Phileo, and Agape
Love is a complicated word, meaning array of things from a slight preference to a complete devotion. As such, we overuse and misuse the word love. To show how confusing love is, dictionaries give up to eighteen various definitions. I
t’s no wonder we’re confused when we read about love in Scripture. What is Biblical love?
Love appears 686 times in the NIV version of the Bible, showing up in most every book (sixty of its sixty-six books). Love appears in 425 Old Testament verses and 261 New Testament verses. That’s a lot of biblical love.
Biblical Love in the New Testament
The New Testament of the Bible was written in Greek. Greek has many words for love, possibly eight—though four are most common and only some of those appear in the Bible.
From a theological perspective, C. S. Lewis covers the four most frequent Greek words for love in his book The Four Loves.
Here are the variations of Greek love that we should consider:
Eros Love
We begin with eros. Eros is the version of love that births most romantic relationships. It speaks to passion and intimacy. When we “fall in love” and are “in love,” it’s eros love.
Eros is also the basis of our English words erotic and erotica. But don’t let these squirm-producing words detract from the idea that eros love is romance.
Most all of us have experienced eros love at some point. For many couples—perhaps most—eros love is why they got married.
Eros, however, doesn’t appear in the Bible. Perhaps the New Testament writers intentionally avoided using it, as Eros is the Greek god of love, desire, sex, and procreation. (Romans called him Cupid.) Yet eros is there in concept, such as in 1 Corinthians 7:5 and Hebrews 13:4.
Storge Love
Next, we have storge. The storge type of love refers to natural, instinctive, or family affection.
One key example is the love between a parent and a child. It’s spontaneous, innate, and familial. It’s easy to imagine Mary lovingly gazing upon Jesus and softly caressing him in storge. This is later implied in Luke 2:48-51.
Despite this, storge doesn’t directly appear in the Bible either. Though it does appear in compound form in Romans 12:10, as be devoted.
(The opposite of storge, astorgos, is in Romans 1:31 and 2 Timothy 3:3.)
Phileo Love
Third is the phileo (or philia) type of love.
As a noun, philia means deep friendship or brotherly love. It only appears once in the New Testament and is translated as friendship in James 4:4.
As a verb, phileo means having affection for or to be fond of. Here are the verses that translate this word as love:
Matthew 6:5: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.”
Matthew 10:37: “Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.”
Matthew 23:6: “They love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues.”
Luke 20:46: “Beware of the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets.”
John 5:20: “For the Father loves the Son and shows him all he does.”
John 11:3: So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”
John 11:36: Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”
John 12:25: “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
John 15:19: “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.”
John 16:27: “No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”
John 20:2: She came running to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one Jesus loved, and said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we don’t know where they have put him!”
John 21:15-17: When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love (agape) me more than these?”
“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love (phileo) you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”
Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love (agape) me?”
He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love (phileo) you.”
Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.”
The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love (phileo) me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love (phileo) you.”
Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.
1 Corinthians 16:22: If anyone does not love the Lord, let that person be cursed!
Titus 3:15: Everyone with me sends you greetings. Greet those who love us in the faith.
Revelation 3:19: “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.”
Revelation 22:15: “Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”
Notice that many of these verses come from Jesus himself. Also note that two kinds of love are in the John 21:15-17 passage, a nuance we completely miss in English.
Agape Love
The fourth type of love is agape. Agape is the most common Greek word for love in the Bible. Of the remaining 261 verses not listed above as Phileo, the rest are implicitly agape. (No, I didn’t check each one, but that’s the logical conclusion.)
Agape is the highest form of love. It’s God’s love for us, and the type of love Jesus tells us to show to others. It’s unconditional and sacrificial. I like to think of agape as godly love, ultimate love, or God-honoring love.
Agape is a choice we make and not a reaction, as is the case with the other types of love. Agape is not governed by emotion or physical attraction. It also doesn’t waffle or go away.
Instead, agape comes from our will, through principle and character. It is unwavering.
Agape forms the foundation from which all over types of love springs—or at least they should.
The best known, and oft-mentioned, passage about agape is in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13.
One of the most important verses about agape is John 3:16.
And the agape passage that should guide all we do is Matthew 22:37-39.
Biblical Love in the Old Testament
This discussion only applies to the New Testament, which is in Greek. The Old Testament is written in Hebrew, which also has its own words for love. We’ll need to cover that later.
Until then, let’s focus on agape, toward God and others. It is the epitome of biblical love.
Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront a status quo faith and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.
Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.
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