The Conventional Wisdom on These Topics May Not Be
I fear society’s views on college, marriage, and children leads people astray from a better way. We should, therefore, reframe our perspective on these topics from doing what the world tells us to align more fully with what the Bible tells us.
College
The common advice today for graduating high school seniors is to go to college. In most circles, it’s expected. Yet in many cases it’s unnecessary, let alone expensive—cost prohibitively so.
Here’s some realities about college. First, most college graduates don’t end up working in the field they studied for. In fact, some of them never work in the field they studied for.
College didn’t prepare them to enter the workforce. Instead, it delayed them from earning a living and being a productive member of society. More to the point, college prolonged their childhood and deferred them from becoming a functioning adult.
Next, college is expensive. Though a college degree has the potential for increased earning power, too often those increase earnings aren’t enough to offset the astronomical cost of earning the degree in the first place.
In short, going to college is often a bad investment. Not everyone needs to go to college.
Then there’s college debt. Unless a student earns a full-ride scholarship or has wealthy parents, they’ll borrow money to earn their degree. Then they’ll spend decades paying off their college loans, and some never will, despite years of trying.
This debt will dog them, forcing the delay of other financial decisions, such as purchasing a house, having children, or saving for retirement.
Yes, some careers require the credentials earned by a college degree. This includes doctors, nurses, teachers, engineers, architects, and lawyers. I’m sure there’s a few more. Yet most careers do not require a college degree. None of my jobs ever did.
(Yes, I did go to college, a lot of them. But I was never a traditional student and always took a pay-as-you-go approach. Aside from some business classes for my bachelor’s degree, none of my college courses offered much direct help in my work or my careers.)
Marriage
Next is marriage. The common advice on marriage is to wait. Don’t rush into it. Go to college first, they say. Establish your career. Only then should you consider marriage—if you get married at all.
In fact, marriage isn’t even a priority for many young people today, ranking far down on their list of major life goals.
Instead, they just live together. They cohabitate for a time and then move on to another relationship. At best, it’s serial monogamy. In truth, it’s sin.
This, of course, presents a problem. It runs counter to the biblical idea of sex being reserved for marriage.
In truth, living together without the benefits of a marriage covenant is a sin. Scripture says so, even if our society mocks it as an outdated, unrealistic idea.
The world suggests living your formative adult years as a single person, establishing who you are, and then trying to meld that with another individual who’s likewise established in their habits.
Instead, get married younger and establish yourselves together. Learn from each other, grow from each other, and enjoy the protective cover of marriage.
Speaking of marriage, it’s meant to be a lifelong commitment. The only biblical reason for divorce is infidelity.
Children
The third item on our list is children. Society views having kids as optional. Even more so, they see them as a burden. Yes, there’s a financial cost to children.
Yet to not have children is a selfish move. Seriously, producing no offspring is self-centered. Some people even celebrate their happily child-free life.
Having children is fulfilling. It’s also biblical. We are to be fruitful and multiply. And for those couples who can’t have children, there’s always adoption.
In the same survey that reveals marriage as very low on people’s list of life goals, having children is likewise low. Ironically, the women on the survey ranked having children as one step above getting married. This shows us just how confused our world has become.
College, Marriage, and Children
God created us to work and be responsible in meeting our own needs. If going to college best facilitates that, then go to college. Otherwise skip it and start working.
God intended us to get married. Don’t delay it. Find someone, pledge to love them, and get married. Then commit to staying married. With God’s help you can,
God also commands us to have children. We are to be fruitful and multiply. To intentionally decide not to is both selfish and disobedient.
Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront a status quo faith and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.
Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.
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