A Christian Response to Criticism
Jesus provides a simple solution for us to follow when we face opposition
Recently a friend asked for some assistance at a writers conference, for help in modeling a writer critique process. I and several others were happy to volunteer. We arrived at the session and disbursed ourselves throughout the room, each sitting at a different table, ready to lead our group when the time came.
God drew me to a table at the perimeter, specifically to one man at that table whose body language screamed a warning. When I asked if I could join them he scowled, though his female tablemates welcomed me.
As we waited for the session to begin, my efforts to connect with him met with failure. And each time I interacted with others at the table, he hijacked the conversation and made it about him. He craved attention and wanted to be in charge. In small group lingo we’d call him an EGR person (“extra grace required”). I wished I’d picked a different table.
My friend leading the session called the attendees to order and explained the procedure: how it worked, what we should do, and what not to do. Each table had a leader familiar with the practice, she explained, who would guide the attendees in following the process.
I’ve done this for several years and successfully guided many groups through this critiquing process. The man at our table objected to the prescribed process and wanted to do things a different way. Words were exchanged; heated barbs were thrown at me. He called me a dictator. I hope I responded in a way that would honor Jesus, but I’m not sure—only God knows.
Eventually the man calmed down, but the tension he caused remained, palpable and unrelenting. Though we went through the motions of the critique process, I doubt anyone gained from our efforts. We completed the assignment, and I left as soon as I could.
Hurt by the affliction of his words, I stewed about this for a couple of days. His emotional wounds had inflamed mine. Then God prompted me to consider why this man acted as he did. Writers call this the backstory. A different view of him surfaced; a bit of compassion emerged.Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Click To Tweet
Instead of harboring ill will for this man, God told me to pray. I thought this was a once-and-done deal. But no, it is ongoing. Each time I think of this situation and the actions of this man, I am to pray for him. He has received many of my prayers in the past few days.
Yes, he has issues, but I have issues, too. We all have issues. God loves us despite our issues. We all need Jesus to save us—sometimes from ourselves.
Though this man is not my enemy (not really) and has not wronged me (not really), Jesus tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us, Matthew 5:44. This, I realize, is how we need to respond to opposition.
Prayer for those who opposed us is Jesus’s solution to deal with conflict.
Peter DeHaan writes about biblical spirituality, often with a postmodern slant. He seeks a fresh approach to faith and following God through the lens of scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices. Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.