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Christian Living

Don’t Be a Church Shopper

Going Church Shopping Turns Spirituality into a Commodity

Last week we talked about how to find a perfect church. We gave a simple two-step process. (Check it out.) This is the opposite of what most people do when they look for a church. Most people go church shopping. Yes, I’ve done it too.

When we go church shopping, we look for a church with the best preacher and with the most meaningful music. In doing so, we approach spirituality as a consumer. This is what a church shopper does. And it’s wrong.

Two Reasons to Go to Church

A minister once shared something he thought was insightful. He said, “Some people go to church for the message and tolerate the music. While other people go to church for the music and tolerate the message.”

I disagree, but in a way he’s right.

Some people want a church with powerful sermons. They may want a message that will challenge them, teach them about God and the Bible, or simply tickle their ears. They put up with the first half of the service to get the good part.

Some even plan to arrive late, skipping the music set that they don’t care for.

Other people want a church with worship music that encourages them, uplifts them, or matches their favorite style.

But they zone out during the sermon, either because they’re bored, or they don’t want to listen. Or perhaps the minister isn’t that engaging of a speaker.

At various times in my life, I’ve had both motivations but never at the same time. For a long time, I thought the lecture was a real reason to go to church and the music was filler.

When that objective wore thin, I switched my perspective and went for the concert at the beginning, mentally skipping the oration at the end. This approach soon wore thin too.

When neither message or music seemed like enough, I began wondering why I should go to church at all.

The Real Reason to Go to Church

The purpose of church is to form spiritual community.

We can stay home and hear a great sermon or listen to uplifting music on TV or over the internet. In most cases the sermon and worship music we can access from home is far superior to what we can obtain at our local church.

So why not stay home?

Because there’s value in being part of a church community. And we can’t make meaningful connections or form a spiritual community when we’re at home alone.

God created us for community—with each other and with him—because he, as Trinity, exists in community. And we are made in his image. We need people in our lives. We need community. Church should provide that community.

Going back to my pastor friend, I shook my head at his assessment. At that time, I tolerated both the music and the message at the church he led.

I did this so I could enjoy the community before and after the official service. That, however, wasted the ninety minutes in between.

Yes, I now go to church with the prayer that the worship music will draw me to God and that the spiritual discourse that follows will provide life-changing meaning.

But most importantly I go to form spiritual connections with people at church. This includes before, after, and even during the service.

Spiritual community should be the real reason we go to church. And we shouldn’t have to go church shopping to find it.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Categories
Christian Living

How to Find the Perfect Church

Try This Counter-Cultural Approach When It’s Time to Select a New Church

There’s an astute saying, “If you find the perfect church, don’t join it—because then it will no longer be perfect.” The reality is that as long as a church has members, it will never be perfect.

That’s because we’re imperfect, so the churches we attend will be imperfect too, and they’ll fall short of the ideals we have for them. This means that finding a perfect church is an impossible task, one we’ll never achieve.

Yet we persist in trying. We shop for churches as a consumer, looking for the one with the most options and greatest features—one that will best meet our needs—while asking as little as possible in return.

We seek maximum value: great outcomes for a small investment.

This is how the world would select a church. They’d follow the modern mindset and shop for a church. But it’s the wrong approach.

Two Steps to Find a New Church

Instead of shopping for a church, the perfect church, try this countercultural method to selecting a new church home. It’s a simple two-step process. The first step is easy, but the second step requires ongoing effort.

Step one to finding a new church home: Go to the church that’s nearest your home. It’s that easy.

This allows us to form a church community in our geographic community. Hopefully some of our neighbors will attend this local church too, which will allow us to worship God with our neighbors.

Step two to finding a new church home: Do whatever it takes to make it work. That’s the hard part. It requires sacrifice, patience, and determination.

Making a commitment to a church is much like making a commitment to marriage. In both cases, instead of bailing at the first sign of conflict, we commit to doing whatever it takes to make the relationship work.

Whatever church we go to will require effort on our part to make it work for the long-term. Therefore, why not make this effort with the church nearest our home?

Personal Application

It’s long been my desire to go to church in my community and to worship God with my neighbors. Am I doing this? Sort of. My wife and I attend the second closest church.

This is because we needed to be in agreement, since this would be the church for both of us.

This church is .7 miles from our house (within walking distance). And several of our neighbors go to this church too.

Though this church has many admirable qualities, it isn’t the perfect church. Yet we’re doing what’s needed to make it work. We’re getting involved, plugging into community, and seeking ways to serve.

When it comes time to find a new church home, why not give this method a try.

After all, has your approach worked any better?

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Christian Living

How Long Do You Stay at Church After the Service Ends?

The Best Christian Community Happens After the Service Is Over

Last week I asked, Why do people show up for church late? My wife and I try to arrive ten minutes early, a practice we developed when we visited fifty-two churches in a year.

This allows for time to interact with others, to enjoy a bit of Christian community before the service begins and to prepare ourselves to connect to God.

Another thing we observed during our 52 Churches journey was how people acted after the church service ended. Some people make a beeline to the door as fast as possible without saying a word to anyone.

And a couple of times we saw people leaving before the church service had even ended.

At most churches people take a few minutes to say “Hi” to their friends, talk with others, or attend to some church business. But within five or ten minutes most everyone is gone.

However, a few churches are a notable exception. There people hang out for quite a while after the church service ends.

Sometimes this is for a potluck or a social time around coffee and snacks, but other times it’s simply for an extended period of connection with their church family.

When Candy and I visited fifty-two churches, we determined to make ourselves available to linger in Christian community—assuming there was one. Several times this lasted longer than the church service itself, sometimes for a couple hours.

Some people think sticking around after the church service ends is foolish. But others—such as myself—think hanging around afterword is how it should be.

The reasons for these two perspectives stem from our reasons for going to church.

Three Reasons to Go to Church

1. A Duty: For those who go to church as an obligation, leaving as soon as possible makes sense. They performed their duty, now they want to get on to something else, something that interests them more.

2. To Sing or Learn: For people who go to church to listen to a teaching or sing to God or about God, they see no reason to stick around after the benediction. The purpose for being there has ended, so now it’s time to leave.

Yes, they’re polite in their exit, but they have no reason to tarry. Other activities beckon, such as Sunday dinner or an afternoon nap.

3. Spend Time in Christian Community: For people who go to church for the community, they realize that the service itself doesn’t allow for much connection to happen.

To realize the community they seek, they arrive early and are willing to stay late—sometimes for an hour or two.

That’s when the real community happens. That’s when they can share life with each other. For me, that’s what church is all about: community.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Christian Living

Why Do People Show Up Late for Church?

The Timing of When People Arrive at Church Reflects Their Priorities

When my wife and I went on our grand adventure of visiting fifty-two churches in a year, we decided we’d try to arrive at church ten minutes early.

In doing so we would avoid breezing in at the last-minute, and we would have time for possible connection with other people before the service. (Sometimes we had wonderful conversations and other times it was an awkward ordeal.)

Three Times When People Arrive at Church

This also gave us an opportunity to observe when other people arrived at church.

1. Arrive Early: For a few churches most everyone arrived early. They sat in respectful anticipation of what was to come, reverently waiting for the service to begin.

2. Arrive Right on Time: At other churches many people timed their arrival with the starting time of the church service, not a minute earlier and not a minute later. They arrived right on time.

At some of these places, the people were in the facility early, trying to squeeze in some pre-church activity, but not yet seated in the church sanctuary. In other places, they rushed in at the last moment.

3 Arrive Late: Yet at too many churches, the starting time seemed more like a guideline. At these churches over half the congregation showed up after the service had started.

They arrived late. Sometimes this was understandable since the service didn’t start on time either.

The church had conditioned people to arrive late, because the service started late.

However, even for those services that started on time, the practice of people arriving during the singing of the first, and even the second and third songs, alarmed me.

When Do You Arrive at Church?

Yes, I understand that sometimes things come up to keep us from getting to church on time. This is most pronounced for those with young children in tow. I remember those days well.

Other times we may oversleep, not get around as fast as we’d like, or encounter delays on the drive to church. Yet these things should be rare, not common.

For people who habitually arrive at church late, I wonder if it doesn’t reveal a bit of their heart. That God isn’t important enough for them to show up early in anticipation of what he’ll do.

That church attendance is one more thing to squeeze into an already-too-busy schedule, so they can check it off there to do list.

Late arrivers at church disrespect God and distract other worshipers.

Arrive at church early, arrive at church in expectation, and arrive at church prepared to worship.

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Categories
Christian Living

When Should You Change Churches?

Changing Churches Should Be Rare

In our Facebook group we discussed the post “When Not to Change Churches.” Justin asked a pertinent question: “When should you change churches?”

I knew part of the answer, but I needed to contemplate how far to take my response. Part of my hesitation stemmed from the reality that sometimes I changed churches for the wrong reasons.

I’ve changed churches eight times in my life. Some of you might think that’s a lot and others might think that’s not much at all.

Of the eight times, five were for the right reasons, while the other three fall into a gray area and may lack a sound motive.

Here are the reasons for when you should change churches.

Change Churches When You Move

When you move out of the area and it’s no longer practical or feasible to continue going to your old church, it’s time to find a new one. Don’t delay. Set about finding a new church right away.

Each Sunday you take a week off from church makes it a little bit harder to return to that practice. And if you wait too long, you may never go back.

Change Churches If Yours Closes

Each week churches close. It’s a statistical fact. And if it’s your church that shuts down, then you’re faced with the task of finding a new one to plug into. Churches seldom shutter abruptly. There’s usually plenty of warning.

They’ve been dying a slow death over months, years, and sometimes even decades.

It’s sad anytime a church closes, and there may be a time of mourning over what you lost. In addition to not having a place to go each week, the friends you’re used to seeing typically scatter and end up at various churches.

So, in addition to losing your church home, you’ve also lost your church family.

When this happens it’s time to find a new spiritual community and make a new church home.

Change Churches If You’re Called to Do a New Thing

Sometimes one church will start another one. It may be a satellite location or planting an independent church. You may be part of the launch team. Though this could be a short-term responsibility, it’s usually a long-term commitment.

Another scenario occurs if God calls you (that is, the Holy Spirit prompts you) to move to a different area and help start a new church.

Whether in name or in function, this is being a missionary. Leaving one church as a missionary is an obvious time when it’s appropriate to change churches.

Change Churches If Jesus Isn’t Part of It

Jesus is central to Christianity, and he must be part of every church that bears his name. If you go to a church that has pushed Jesus aside or fails to acknowledge him and what he did for us, then question if it’s truly a Christian church.

A church without Jesus is a church that doesn’t warrant your attention. If Jesus isn’t there, you probably shouldn’t be there either. It’s time to change churches.

Change Churches If Your Present Church Is Hindering Your Faith

This one is harder to define, but sometimes we may find ourselves in a church that is so misaligned with who we are and where we are in our walk with Jesus, that it gnaws at our soul.

Persevering in that environment pulls us away from God and threatens to derail our faith.

I would never encourage anyone to persist in a church community that is damaging their relationship with God.

If this happens, it’s time to find a new church community. Seek one will help you draw near to God and encourage you in your faith.

Are There Other Times to Change Churches?

What about other beliefs? Christianity is filled with various viewpoints on faith and theology. If Jesus remains the core, I encourage us to accept one another for our other differences in belief and practice.

Yes, some people view these differences as heretical, but I don’t think Jesus does.

Based on what he prayed in the Bible (John 17:20-26), I know that he wants us to get along, to remain united, and to act as one. Leaving one church because we disagree with an element or two of their religious platform is a bad reason to leave.

Of the eight times I’ve change churches four were because of moving and one was for a church plant. The other three were more dubious.

The first was because I was bored, the second was because our kids weren’t plugged in, and the third was to fulfill my deep desire to go to church in my community, with my neighbors, and worship with my family.

The first was selfish—though I did meet my future wife there—while the other two were more laudable, even though they fall outside my list of five reasons to change churches.

This implies there may be a sixth reason to change churches, but it’s one that’s hard to define.

Its subjective. And any time something is subjective it means that our emotions can replace logic, which allows us the latitude to make about any determination we want.

Usually that decision leads us to change churches even though we probably shouldn’t.

But regardless of the reasons of why you want to change churches, before you do, take a careful look at when not to change churches. Pray about it, and ask for Holy Spirit guidance. If he says it’s time to move on, then move.

To help you on this new adventure, check out “How to Find a New Church.”

May God bless you in your search for a new church home and guide you to the place he wants you to be.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

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Visiting Churches

When Not to Change Churches

When We Go Church Shopping We Behave as Consumers and Don’t Honor God

In today’s practice of retail religion, we pursue faith has a consumer and miss the purpose of church. We’re quick to change churches over the smallest of issues. Yet, usually the best action to take is no action: Don’t change churches.

Often we should stay where we are and not go church shopping.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

Yes, there’s a right time and a wrong time to change churches. We need to discern between the two and act accordingly. Here are some reasons not to change churches.

Don’t Change Churches If You’re Angry

Did your church do something to hurt you? Are you angry over something that someone did or said? Though the impulse to change churches is understandable, this is the wrong time to do it.

Don’t leave mad because you’ll hurt others in the process.

And don’t leave hurt, because you’ll carry baggage to your new church. Instead, seek reconciliation with your church and its people. Then you can switch with a clear conscience, but if you patch things up, why not stick around?

Don’t Change Churches If You’re Not Being Fed

It sounds spiritual to say you’re switching churches because you’re “just not being fed.” This sounds virtuous, but it’s really a sign of laziness. It’s not church’s job to feed us spiritually. This is the wrong expectation.

Yes, church aids in spiritual growth, but they shouldn’t be the primary provider of our faith nourishment.

Spiritual growth is our responsibility. We need to feed ourselves and not expect a minister to do our job for us. Changing churches so we can be fed only masks the real problem.

Don’t Change Churches If You’re Not Getting Anything Out of It

In today’s culture, too many people view church participation as a transaction. They put in their time expecting something in return.

They donate their money and look for a return on their investment. This, however, reduces church to a commodity that we shop for.

This is the epitome of retail religion, and it misses the point.

The truth is, we only get out of church what we put into it. So, if you’re not getting anything out of church, the problem falls on you and not church.

Don’t Change Churches If You Fear Heresy

Another spiritually-sounding complaint about church is heresy. Yet disagreement over theology is why we have 42,000 denominations in our world today and not the one, unified church that Jesus prayed for.

When we charge our minister with heresy, the implication is that we know what is correct and they don’t. We need to embrace the possibility that we might be wrong.

Instead, we squabble over things that don’t matter and leave the church. What does matter? Jesus. Everything else is secondary.

We need to acknowledge that we can have differences of opinion over matters of faith and still get along.

Don’t Change Churches If You Don’t Like the Music or the Message

Another side effect of retail religion is changing churches because we don’t like the worship service or the sermon. Again, this is consumerism infiltrating church.

All music can praise and worship God. Just because we don’t like the tone or tempo—or volume—it isn’t worth changing churches. Instead, seek to worship God regardless of the musical style or the performers’ ability.

Remember, we’re not there as consumers seeking entertainment; we’re there as followers of Jesus to worship God in spirit and truth (John 4:24).

The same applies to the message. Yes, some speakers are gifted, and others aren’t; some presenters are entertaining, and others are boring. But every message has something we can learn from it, if we’re willing to listen and look for it.

Don’t Change Churches If You Have No Friends

If your church lacks community or you have no friends there, who’s fault is that? Yes, some people are easier to connect with then others, but that’s no excuse to give up.

In fact, the problem might be in us. If we have no friends at church it might be because we’re not approachable or don’t make ourselves available.

The best time to make friends at church is before the service starts and after it ends, but too many people miss these opportunities by arriving at the last moment and leaving as soon as possible.

If you have no friends at church, seek to change that.

There are many reasons to change churches, but most of these are selfish, shortsighted, and reflect a consumer mindset. This displeases God and serves to divide his church.

If you don’t like your church, the better approach is to stick around and be a catalyst for change.

Seek to make the church where you’re at become a better one and don’t take your problems someplace else.

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Categories
Christian Living

3 Keys to Successful Church Involvement

Don’t Go to Church with a Passive Perspective: Be Engaged on Sunday Morning

As a teenager, I often complained to my parents, “but I don’t get anything out of church.” Though they tried to reason with me, and they may have secretly agreed, their attempts to change my perspective didn’t help.

What I wish I could’ve told my younger self was, “You only get out of church what you put into it.”

Yes, I could’ve tried harder. I should’ve tried harder. I finally get that.

If we go to church with no expectations, that’s exactly what we’ll receive: nothing. However, if we walk through the doorways of church on Sunday morning with intention and forethought and prayer, we’re much more likely to leave feeling better for our time there.

Here are three tips to change our perspective about church.

Successful Church Involvement Tip 1: Be a Giver Not a Consumer

When we go to church, we miss the point if our perspective rests solely on what we’ll get from the experience. Instead, we should look at what we can give to others. This may be through our example, through our words, or through our worship.

Too many people go to church as consumers. They expect excellence with the message and the music. And if the delivery disappoints, they’ll take their Sunday morning patronage to another church. They’ll church shop.

This puts a lot of pressure—unwarranted pressure—on the preacher and the musicians. But they aren’t there to entertain us. They’re there to point us to God. But with today’s attitude of retail religion, we too often miss this.

In this discussion about giving, I’m not talking about money. That’s a different discussion for another time. By giving to the church, I mean giving our time, our attention, and our attitudes to make it better.

The church needs more givers and fewer consumers.

Successful Church Involvement Tip 2: Be a Partner Not an Attendee

When it comes to church, we often use the word attend. As in, “What church do you attend?” But church attendance is a passive activity. We go, we stand when we’re supposed to, and we sit the rest of the time, staring at the back of someone’s head.

If we just attend church, we confirm we’re merely consumers of it.

Instead we should go as partners, looking for ways we can take part and contribute. Granted, the modern church service offers little in the way of participation opportunities, but we can find ways to contribute to the experience nonetheless.

The three key times are before the service begins, after it ends, and as part of the mid-service greeting, if the church has one.

These provide opportunities to engage with others: to participate, to encourage, and to make a difference. In this way, we share in the process and influence what occurs.

By being at church as a partner of it, we adopt an ownership attitude. And benevolent owners behave much differently than passive attendees looking for entertainment.

The church needs more partners and fewer attendees.

Successful Church Involvement Tip 3: Be a Disciple Not a Critic

Consumers and attendees feel they have a right to complain when their “needs” aren’t being met. Conversely, those who attempt to engage in the process and be a partner with the church, sometimes also feel they’ve earned the right to offer “constructive criticism.”

However, this feedback isn’t only misdirected, it’s also mean and selfish. A better alternative is acceptance. As disciples, we try to accept—and learn from—the things we don’t understand, don’t like, and cause us confusion. In a way, this is the foundation of what it is to be a disciple.

Disciples seek to learn and embrace a more enlightened perspective.

The church needs more disciples and fewer critics.

For successful church involvement, we must push aside notions of consuming, attending, and criticizing. That accomplishes nothing and diminishes what the church can be, what the church should be. When we go to church as givers, partners, and disciples, we will change everything.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

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Christian Living

What’s More Important, Family or Church?

We Need to Order Our Priorities With Intention and Do What Matters Most

Whether we realize it or not, we form priorities to order our lives. For most of my adult existence my number one priority has been God.

Though I held this out as my ideal, sometimes, perhaps too often, my actions didn’t live up to this principle, but I did strive to reach it.

Many years ago, I mistakenly included church in the box that should have been reserved for God. As such, I elevated the importance of church to the level of God, effectively making church activity my highest priority.

During that season of my life, whenever the church doors were open, I was there. In addition to attending twice on Sunday, I also served on committees and helped pretty much wherever and whenever someone asked.

As a result I spent two, three, and sometimes even four evenings a week at church fulfilling various roles, commitments, and needs.

When I was busy at church doing these things, my young family was at home—functioning without me. I had mistaken the elevated church activity above family life.

I have long since moved past that church, but my family is still here. They are my priority over church—any church.

If I ever need to choose between church and family, I now choose family.

As far as church activity, aside from the Sunday service, I limit myself to no more than one other commitment—if that. This helps me keep my actions aligned with my priorities.

Yes, God is still the number one priority in my life. But now family comes in second. And they have for a long time, too. Church, however, is further down my list.

God is number one, as he should be. Family comes second. After that is work, writing, and friends. I suppose church activity comes in next. That makes church number six on my priority list. And I think that’s the right place for it to be.

I can’t undo the mistake I made a couple decades ago when I placed church over my family, but I can make sure not to repeat that error again. Not with my wife, not with our children, and not with our grandchildren.

Just because this is how I order my life, doesn’t mean that’s how you need to prioritize yours. But I do encourage you to be intentional, and make a thoughtful determination about what your priorities should be.

The next step is to make your actions align with your ideals.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

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Categories
Christian Living

Does Dropping Out of Church Mean Turning Your Back on God?

Church Attendance May Relate to Faith or the Two May Have No Connection

On a broader scope, I keep hearing reports that Millennials (or some other demographic) have turned from God and left their faith. What is the reason for this conclusion?

It’s simple. They’ve dropped out and no longer go to church.

Ergo they must have abandoned their faith. However, just as some people attend church and don’t really know God, others know God quite well but have given up on church.

We need to, once and for all, disconnect the assumption that church attendance equates to faith—and that regular attendance implies a vibrant faith.

To the contrary, I’ve heard many people say they stopped going to church to preserve their faith in God, that church attendance damaged their state of spiritual being more than it helped.

Don’t take my assertion that church attendance is not an indicator of faith as an excused to stop going. However, if going to church presents an unhealthy burden for you or causes you more harm than good, then perhaps you need to find a different church.

And by different church, I don’t necessarily mean a different denomination or a different style of service, but to perhaps re-envision what church is.

It’s All About Meeting Together

At the basic level church is where two or more people gather in Jesus’s name (Matthew 18:20). This might mean in a church building on Sunday morning. Or it may mean at a coffee shop Wednesday afternoon or a restaurant Friday evening.

How about a sports event on Saturday or dinner on Sunday? What about a game night or movie outing?

Before you bristle at the implication that playing games or watching movies in Jesus’s name is on a par to Sunday morning church attendance, which one offers more Christian community?

Which is the setting where serious faith conversations are more likely to occur?

When the Bible warns us to not give up meeting together (Hebrews 10:25), it’s not talking about going to church. It’s really talking about meeting together.

This may mean meeting at the coffee shop, restaurant, sports event, Sunday dinner, game night, or movies.

We are not to live our faith in isolation but in community. However, we must dissuade ourselves of the notion that this community should happen on Sunday morning.

If the traditional form of church has let you down, don’t give up on all forms of Christian community.

Find one that works for you and pursue it at all costs. Your faith may depend on it.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Christian Living

Do You Have These Misconceptions about Church?

Discover the Purpose of Church

In my post “What is Church,” I suggested we are the church. Church isn’t a place we go—not really. It’s who we are. As the church we should be about worship, community, and helping others.

There’s a lot I didn’t mention. That was intentional. Contrary to the actions and attitudes of many, here is what a church is not:

Church is Not an Obligation

We must never think of church as an obligation. Though most people, at one time or another, make a conscious decision to attend a Sunday morning gathering when they don’t feel like it, that falls under the category of being self-disciplined.

But if the only reason we ever go is out of a sense of obligation, then our motivation is wrong. God is not impressed.

Yes, the Bible commands us to persist in meeting together (Hebrews 10:24-25), but that doesn’t necessarily mean a Sunday church service. I think it means hanging out with other believers. That should be fun, not an obligation to fulfill.

Church is Not a Means to Appease Guilt

Some people only attend a religious service on Sunday morning because they’d feel guilty if they stayed home. They were trained from an early age that church is what you did.

If the church doors where open, they were there: Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday night prayer meeting, Thursday visitation . . .

Guilt is a powerful motivator. The avoidance of guilt can propel us to positive action, but it needs to have a benefit greater than appeasing a shame-filled conscience.

Church is Not a Routine

Many Sunday services proceed with a rote precision that attendees follow mindlessly. They come, they go through the motions, and they head home. For them the entire time holds no significance.

While their body acts, their mind drifts, and their spirit remains untouched.

Routine is the enemy of meaningful worship and true community.

An almost parallel aspect of routine exists, called ritual. Though the word ritual carries negative connotations, a positive aspect of ritual is one seeped in deep spiritual mystery.

Some people are drawn to this type of almost-mystical ritual, a sacred practice that supernaturally connects them with the Almighty.

Church is Not a Social Club

Some people pursue church meetings as nothing more than a social gathering, void of spiritual significance. They miss the true meaning of us meeting together. They dishonor God and marginalize his community of followers.

Though one of the characteristics of us as church is community, there’s a distinction between meaningful community and a social get together.

Yes, community contains a significant social aspect, but more importantly it involves intentionality in how we treat one another.

The New Testament gives us over thirty “one another” commands, which starts with the expectation that we love one another.

Church Is Not a Business Promotion Vehicle

Some people become members of a local church as a means for commerce. They join so they can sell, not serve. They go through the motions of worship, and their engagement with community consists only of networking for business.

When my bride and I were first married, another couple from our local congregation invited us to their house. We were ecstatic. Then my mother-in-law shared that this couple had recently signed onto a large multi-level marketing company.

When I asked them directly of their intention, they confirmed my fears that we would experience a sales pitch. We didn’t go, and they never talked to us again. That’s not church. That’s not even good business.

Church is Not a Place to Amass Knowledge

For much of my life I reasoned that the real purpose of a Sunday service was to learn about God. I dismissed the worship part because it bored me. I didn’t see community because it was all social. And, as an inward looking body, we didn’t do any service.

That left the sermon.

But what happens when the sermon doesn’t provide any new information? Does that mean I wasted an hour, or more? But recall the verse that says, “Knowledge puffs up” (1 Corinthians 8:1). Amassing knowledge is not the reason we should go to church.

That takes me back to worship, community, and serving others.

We are the church. We gather to worship God, live in community, and serve others.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

Bogged Down Reading the Bible?

10 Essential Bible Reading Tips, from Peter DeHaan

Get the Bible Reading Tip Sheet: “10 Tips to Turn Bible Reading from Drudgery to Delight.”

​Enter your info and receive the free Bible Reading Tip Sheet and be added to Peter’s email list.