Tag: small group

Why Do We Do the Things We Do?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date February 1, 2015

Most people whose faith is more than in name only, have certain religious rituals as part of their spiritual practices. A common one is church attendance. Another may be giving money or tithing to the church.

Participation in a Bible study, small group, or midweek meeting is a third practice many people pursue. Introspective spiritual activities can include Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, and fasting. I’m sure there are more.

Why do we do these things? Here are some common reasons:

Out of Habit

While habits can be good, an unexamined habit becomes a mindless ritual. God deserves better.

To Avoid Feeling Guilty

While there is a good type of guilt, most guilt is bad. Seek to understand the source of this guilt. If it’s another person – either directly or indirectly—it’s likely a bad guilt.

To Earn God’s Love

The starting point in our relationship with God is that he loves us. We don’t need to earn it; we already have it. There’s nothing we can do to make him love us more. (And nothing we can do to make him love us less.)

To Get God’s Attention

Do we do things to show God how righteous we are in order to get his attention? If we do, first of all, it’s just a show. Second, we already have his attention.

Because the Bible Says To

Citing the Bible as justification for certain actions is noteworthy, but we must be careful. Does the Bible actually say what we think it says? Are we making unwarranted assumptions and jumping to wrong conclusions? Too often the answer is “yes.”

I can claim all of these reasons at one time or another. And they are all wrong. Here are the real reasons we should pursue our various spiritual practices; anything else is futility:

To Express Love to God

God loves us and wants to be in relationship with us. We should want to love him back. Remember, we’re not trying to earn his love or get his attention; we’re simply trying to say “I love you, too,” intangible and meaningful ways.

To Worship God

True worship is our ultimate gift to God. Though he doesn’t need our worship, he does deserve it. How we choose to worship him need not be like everyone else, but it should come from our heart.

Loving God and worshiping God may be opposite sides of the same coin. I’m not sure if we can separate the two. The things we do and the things we don’t do should be intentional decisions for the express purpose of loving and worshiping God.

Any other reason falls short.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Tags love, small group, worship

Christian Living

Where Do We Find True Christian Community?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 2, 2014

As I consider biblical Christianity, I feel a strong pull to community, a place where significant spiritual connections occur. This should be our experience at church, the reality of church, but it seldom is. We need true Christian community.

A friend read my updated home page on this website and asked, “Where do we find Christian community?” Her plea bordered on the imperative, “Tell us where.”

The truth is, I don’t know. I’m still searching.

That doesn’t mean I never see it, because I do. I sometimes see it after the official church service ends. It can occur in small groups; and it may pop up in service organizations amid the push to achieve a common goal.

But none of these are regular enough or reliable enough to provide the spiritual community my soul longs for.

True Christian Community

I’m more apt to encounter meaningful community when meeting a friend at a coffee shop or hanging out with other like-minded Jesus followers.

These experiences give me a sense of the type of Christian community that we can all realize but seldom do.

Although church should be the ideal place, she usually falls short, at least as church exists today. The present-day church is an institution. As such it’s good at providing structure but bad at offering true community.

This isn’t to imply I’ve given up on the traditional church. I haven’t (yet), but I am discouraged.

I write a lot about church, often with a critical tone, not because I’m down on church as much as I hope church will one day rise up and become all she can be, all she should be.

In a few hours, I’ll head off for church and later eat lunch with friends. I expect to experience better community afterwards in the restaurant than in the church sanctuary were it should occur.

Look for places where you can plug into true Christian community.

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Tags community, small group

Christian Living

Discussion Question: What is Church?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date August 3, 2014

A few weeks ago, the church service kicked off with a discussion question: “What is church?” We broke into small groups with those sitting around us. After exchanging introductions (why hadn’t we already done this?), we stared in silence.

As a visitor, I didn’t want to go first, but the silence invited me. “I’ve thought about this a lot,” I said as I marshaled my words. “I think church is about community.”

I paused, waiting for more of my deliberations to form into cogent words, but they didn’t. Others nodded and voiced their thoughts. Before I had a chance to add more, the discussion time ended prematurely.

The groups’ dialogue formed the introduction to the message. I anticipated what the speaker would add to the topic. Alas, his words were of little substance.

I left the service, warmed by the bits of community we shared, but with no additional clarity on the question.

A few years ago, I answered the question, What is Church? in a blog post. My answer then is what it is now:

“Church isn’t about message or music; those are often distractions or settling for less than the best.

True church is about community, where we are all priests, with each one giving and receiving, mutually edifying and encouraging one another on our faith journey.”

Please think about this as you attend church today. And it you don’t go to church, I encourage you to seek ways to do this anyway—and that will be your church, not as a substitute, but perhaps as a superior alternative.

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Tags church, community, small group

Christian Living

What Do You Expect From Church?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date May 18, 2014

Push Aside the Past to Worship God Today

To the homeless man who complained about our church service, I said, “It sounds like you wanted a Baptist experience.”

When he continued his rant, I became more direct: “If you want a Baptist experience, you need to go to a Baptist church.”

I later told my wife, “It’s like he went to a rock concert and was upset they didn’t play country western.” Indeed, he went with expectations formed by his experiences and was disappointed when he didn’t see what he was used to.

We all do this. We look for a church based on our experiences, be it directly or indirectly. When people move they evaluate a new church through the lens of their former church; they search for a new one that’s just like the old one they loved.

Even when people leave a church disillusioned and seek one that’s different, they still expect certain key elements to remain the same.

Some people even switch churches for something new and then try to make the new church more like their old one.

Not only do our expectations usually yield disappointment, they often lack biblical support.

Consider some of the things people expect at church: a certain music style, an alter call, Sunday school, dressing up or not dressing up, small groups, a three-point sermon or expository message, using the KJV versus some other version, a choir, a children’s message, and so on.

None of these are biblical. They may match our experiences, but they don’t conform to what the Bible teaches.

One of the key things I learned from visiting 52 churches was that the best way to experience church was to rid myself of expectation.

While it’s impossible to not evaluate a church through the lens of experience, I did need to remove my expectations.

I needed to open my mind to new experiences, to see God in new ways, to encounter him afresh.

The next time you’re in church, leave your expectations and experiences at home. Open your heart and let God in—using whatever means he wishes.

That’s what I hope to do today.

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Tags community, diversity, small group

Christian Living

Not Going to Church

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date February 5, 2012

I think it was Reggie McNeal who first said, “People…are not leaving the church because they have lost their faith. They are leaving to preserve their faith.”

That statement may be shocking—even heretical—to some, but I suspect that for many it is enlightening, effectively explaining declining church attendance, albeit in a disconcerting and confronting manner.

For a growing number of folks, this quip either gives voice to the ache in their hearts or offers credence to their faith journey.

When I first heard this statement, it immediately resonated with me, explaining spiritual angst that I saw around me. Today, however, my comprehension of this idea has grown to underscore my own spiritual angst.

Though I still attend an institutional church, I suspect that I no longer belong there.

An amazing friend is seeing this played out. Increasingly she is meeting those who love Jesus, but no longer “go to church.”

Although they long for meaningful community and connection with other like-minded believers, they do not find it in the typical Sunday morning church service—so they give up.

How sad.

However, there are a growing number of viable alternatives. For my friend, it is a house church.

For others it may be a “small group,” a parachurch organization, or simply an intentional meeting with others who share their faith journey or faith questions.

To the disenfranchised, I encourage you not to give up. Keep seeking until you find the spiritual community that your heart longs for. It is out there.

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Tags church, church attendance, house church, small group