What to Do When You’re Restricted, Held Back, or Trapped
Do you ever feel like your life is stuck in a box? Does it seem that you’re restricted, held back, or trapped? It’s time to break out of your box.
It’s time to become all that God has created you to be, to make more of an impact on the world around you.
Here are some areas to consider:
When People Put Us in a Box
People can figuratively put us in a box. This may be a family member, a teacher or classmate, or an employer. It could also be a friend, minister, or church family.
Regardless, they form an opinion of us, either because of our past behaviors or resulting from their wrong assumptions. This is how they see us. They may always view us this way, not realizing—or willing to accept—that we can change.
The result is that they put us in a box. Their view of us is a frozen perspective. It affects how they treat us and esteems us. It also impacts our future as it relates to them.
It stings when people put us in a box. It’s not right, but it does happen, often.
When We Make Our Own Box
Though we have little control over people who put us in a box, they’re not the only ones who can do that. We can put ourselves in our own box, one of our own making. This is something we have complete control over, but we do it anyway. It occurs subconsciously.
This happens in different ways. Sometimes we limit what we can do now because of a mistake we made in the past. Though we think we’ve moved on, we remain shackled by the pain of the memory.
It could be us wallowing in guilt over something we did or something we said. It can also be the opposite, being gripped by remorse because of something we didn’t do or didn’t say when we should have.
Another way we can put ourselves in our own box is through what we think or say about ourselves. This occurs when we mumble disparaging thoughts about our character, abilities, or potential.
Here are some examples: “I’ll never amount to anything.” Or, “Why am I so stupid?” Consider, “I always make that mistake.” There are many other examples, but these three will get us started. Contemplate our self-talk and reflect on what needs to change.
We must stop saying words that pull us down. Instead we should replace them with words that lift us up.
Jettison the negative; embrace the positive. This doesn’t mean we should ignore our faults and shortcomings, but we must learn from them and not be shackled by them.
We also hold memories of what other people have said to us or about us. These are hurtful words. Though they may have forgotten about them, we haven’t.
If we aren’t careful, these callous pronouncements can form our self-perception and limit our future.
Here are some examples: “Why do you always let me down?” Or, “Just for once, I wish you’d tell me the truth.” Consider, “You’ll never have any money or amount to anything.”
We must consider the soul-piercing words that others have said about us and examine how they impact us.
In each one of these situations, we put ourselves in our own box. Though we do this all by ourselves, we may need others to help us get out. But sometimes some self-reflection and intentional effort is all we’ll need to extricate ourselves.
Does God Ever Put Us in a Box?
Our first thought may be that our Lord never puts us in a box. After all, he loves us and wants the best for us. He wouldn’t want to limit what we can do. Therefore, it stands to reason that he would never put us in a box.
Yet God might do just that. He could put us in a box because he loves us. Figuratively, some people equate this to being in a desert.
Maybe our Lord needs to teach us something. Perhaps he’s disciplining us, like a loving father disciplines his child.
When God needs to teach us something, we should be ready to listen and learn. Once we’ve mastered our lessons and are ready to move on, God will release us from our restrictions.
When God disciplines us, we should accept our punishment and not fight it. It’s foolish to oppose God and what he wants to do.
The sooner we receive his discipline, the quicker we are poised to emerge from it as a stronger person, more ready to accomplish his will and advance his kingdom.
Yes, it may seem that God sometimes puts us in the box. But we should take comfort in knowing that it’s temporary and for our own good.
We should thank him for it, both while we’re in the box and once we emerge from it victoriously.
Break Out of Your Box
If we find ourselves in a box, what should we do? Other people may have put us there, we may have done it ourselves, or perhaps it’s God’s doing. The reasons don’t matter that much; the prescription is the same.
First, we should turn to God. We share our hearts with him; we acknowledge our pain.
We ask him for what we can learn from the situation and then for his grace to help us move from it. We must be poised to listen and ready to obey what he says.
Second, look at why we feel like we’re in a box. It may be our doing or it may not. Regardless, this will give us insight into the situation and direction on the way forward. We may need to wait. We may need to grow. Or we may need to learn something.
But perhaps we need to do something. This might be to confess are sins to our Lord. We may need to apologize to someone. Perhaps we need to make restitution.
Maybe we need to stop a certain activity, one which displeases God or is harmful to us.
It could be we need different friends or to limit our involvement with certain people. It might involve not going to some places or start going to others. We may need to change our priorities, our activities, or our language.
Godly Assurances
As we grapple with our box, we must remember that God will never leave us. He will never forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:8). We must acknowledge that there’s no place we can go where he is not there (Psalm 139:7-12).
This includes when we find ourselves in a box, as we break free from it, and when we resume life outside it.
What a grand day that will be.
Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront a status quo faith and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.
Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.
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