Christian Living

Don’t Be a DINK

Marriage Is for Children Not for Self

DINK stands for Dual Income, No Kids. The concept has gained traction in recent years. But it’s not an enlightened perspective. Instead, being a DINK is an idea we should avoid.

The Result of Circumstances

Some couples are childless due to their circumstances. They can’t have biological children, even though they yearn to have a baby. We should support them in their pain and walk with them, just as Jesus does with us in our disappointments.

We should be sensitive to their situation, keenly aware that most churches and their programs revolve around the nuclear family. This inadvertently causes them pain, and we should seek to minimize it.

Adoption may be an option they choose to pursue, but it’s not a given assumption. Therefore, we’d be wrong to presume this is an inescapable conclusion and push them toward adopting or fostering children.

Instead, God might use their circumstance to achieve a greater purpose and call them in a different direction.

A Matter of Choice

Other couples are childless by choice. They have intentionally pushed aside the God-given opportunity to have children. Instead of using the label of childless, they proudly proclaim themselves as child free.

I can only presume to understand their motivation.

They may have pain in their past that causes them to suppress their natural, biological urge for procreation.

Or maybe they’ve made a conscious decision to not bring children into this world. But if they don’t, who will?

Perhaps they may feel inadequate to raise children. (Hint: no one is ready to have kids, but we trust God to guide us through it.)

More likely, however, DINKs operate under selfish intent. They feel children will get in the way of their dreams and goals. To them kids are a burden, something they perceive as blocking their pursuit of happiness and personal fulfillment.

They have careers to chase and financial goals to pursue. The idea of raising a family runs counter to these self-centered goals. The focus of their marriage is self-serving and materialistic, not raising up the next generation. They are DINKs.

God’s Perspective

In God’s created order, he expects his creation to produce offspring. This is necessary for the perpetuation of the species. In fact, the first command the creator gives Adam and Eve is to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28).

And God repeats this instruction to Noah after the flood (Genesis 9:7). Had either command been ignored, our species would have died out.

In this way, we see that having children is not only necessary for the survival of the species, but it’s also commanded by God.

Yes, children are expensive, and they can distract us from doing what we want to accomplish for ourselves. But they’re also a blessing—the more the better (Psalm 127:4-5)!

By raising children in a God honoring way and teaching them to follow Jesus, we pursue a more worthy calling. We look beyond ourselves to invest in the next generation (Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 6:4).

Don’t be a DINK. Instead, be fruitful and multiply.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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