Not Doing What I Want to Do
My typical day is divided between three activities: writing, job, and personal (which includes work around the house and leisure pursuits). To make matters more complicated, each of these three tasks takes place at home.
Sometimes I am self-disciplined enough to attend to each undertaking in its apportioned time, but not always. I too often find myself wanting to do work when I should be writing, wanting to do household projects when I should be working, and wanting to write or work when it is time for household tasks. (And leisure activities always tugs on my time.)
Given this, some might label me a malcontent or simply bad at time management, but I resist those assessments. To me my malady is merely human nature. And given my assessment that all things are spiritual, this becomes a spiritual issue. Succinctly, will I use the time God has given me to its widest and fullest potential or will I squander it with undisciplined disdain?
My dilemma reminds me in something that the Apostle Paul said. In writing to the people in Rome, he agonizes over a similar quandary, noting that he doesn’t do what he wants to do and does do what he doesn’t want to do.
His answer to this struggle is simple: Jesus.
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