Tag: community

Do We Share Our Spiritual Struggles as Much as Our Triumphs?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date July 20, 2014

Don’t Celebrate Your Successes and Hide Your Shortcomings

A friend once told how he gave his TV away; he didn’t want one anymore. It was a spiritual act, a voluntary fast from television and the distractions it provided, in order to give him more time for God and family.

He reveled in his decision and had no plans to ever own a TV again. I admired his fortitude and wished I could do the same. But I could not. Surely he was more spiritual than I.

Imagine my surprise a few years later when I learned he again owned a TV. I asked why. He dismissed my confusion with a wave of his hand and a mumbled explanation that reframed his original intent.

He had been quick to share his spiritual prowess but silent over his retreat.

Yet before I criticize him, let me admit to doing the same thing.

I once heard the reason there’s satanic activity at night is because Christians aren’t praying. I decided to do something about it.

When I’d wake up in the middle of the night (a regular occurrence), I decided to spend an hour praying and then go back to sleep.

The first night was a powerful experience, lasting well beyond an hour; the first week was good, too, but not as great. Excited, I told my friends about my nighttime prayers, encouraging them to do the same. They shook their heads in dismay.

However, after two weeks, my hour of nighttime prayer had become a struggle.

Twenty-five days later I could no longer withstand the fatigue it produced: falling asleep while praying and stumbling through my days in a sleep-deprived stupor. I stopped but didn’t tell anyone.

It’s far easier to celebrate our spiritual triumphs than to acknowledge our failings.

Yet, we must do both. Others benefit when we encourage them with the highlights of our spiritual journey, yet they may benefit even more when we acknowledge our spiritual shortcomings.

It’s an act of healing for us and reassurance for them, establishing a strong spiritual bond. Honest sharing is being real before others—and with God.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

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Tags community, pray

Christian Living

Why Do You Go to Church?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date June 22, 2014

Reasons People Give for Going to Church

I often wonder why I go to church. Seldom do I come up with a good answer, that is, the real reason why I show up on Sundays. I’m not even sure if I know the theologically correct response.

Here are some reasons I’ve heard over the years:

Because I have to (“my parents make me”)
Because someone expects me to (“my boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/parents expect it”)
Because I’d feel guilty if I didn’t (while guilt can be a powerful motivator, is it ever a good one?)
Out of habit (“it’s just what you do on Sunday morning”)
To be a role model to others (“set a good example for the kids”)
To impress others (“it will be good if my boss/coworkers/neighbors see me there”)
Because God will be mad at me—and may even punish me—if I don’t (they fear God as mean and vindictive, not kind and loving)
To be inspired, motivated, or prepared for another week (can recharging for an hour, really sustain us for seven days?)
To listen to great, powerful music or teaching (doesn’t going merely for what we will receive, reflect a consumerism mentality towards church?)
Because the Bible says to (actually the Bible says to not give “up meeting together,” see Hebrews 10:24-25; it doesn’t say “go to church.”)
To learn about God (listen to a sermon)
To worship God (to sing to God or about him)

The truth is, at one time or another, these have all been my reasons for going to church. In response, someone may quip, “Well, as long as you’re there, that’s what really matters.”

I disagree.

In fact, I wonder if it’s better to stay home for the right reasons, than to go to church for the wrong reasons. Which would God like more? It’s something to contemplate.

As I read the New Testament—striving hard to not look through the lens of my experiences—I see some elements of learning and more so of worship, but mostly I see community.

To hang out with others who follow Jesus, to share life with then, having God at the center.

True community doesn’t happen at most churches. At other churches, community is a side effect. Rarely is community the focus of church. I think it should be.

That’s mostly why I go—even if I’m disappointed when community doesn’t happen.

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Tags church, church attendance, community, denominations

Christian Living

What Do You Expect From Church?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date May 18, 2014

Push Aside the Past to Worship God Today

To the homeless man who complained about our church service, I said, “It sounds like you wanted a Baptist experience.”

When he continued his rant, I became more direct: “If you want a Baptist experience, you need to go to a Baptist church.”

I later told my wife, “It’s like he went to a rock concert and was upset they didn’t play country western.” Indeed, he went with expectations formed by his experiences and was disappointed when he didn’t see what he was used to.

We all do this. We look for a church based on our experiences, be it directly or indirectly. When people move they evaluate a new church through the lens of their former church; they search for a new one that’s just like the old one they loved.

Even when people leave a church disillusioned and seek one that’s different, they still expect certain key elements to remain the same.

Some people even switch churches for something new and then try to make the new church more like their old one.

Not only do our expectations usually yield disappointment, they often lack biblical support.

Consider some of the things people expect at church: a certain music style, an alter call, Sunday school, dressing up or not dressing up, small groups, a three-point sermon or expository message, using the KJV versus some other version, a choir, a children’s message, and so on.

None of these are biblical. They may match our experiences, but they don’t conform to what the Bible teaches.

One of the key things I learned from visiting 52 churches was that the best way to experience church was to rid myself of expectation.

While it’s impossible to not evaluate a church through the lens of experience, I did need to remove my expectations.

I needed to open my mind to new experiences, to see God in new ways, to encounter him afresh.

The next time you’re in church, leave your expectations and experiences at home. Open your heart and let God in—using whatever means he wishes.

That’s what I hope to do today.

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Tags community, diversity, small group

Christian Living

Do You Live in a Theological Silo?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date August 11, 2013

In farming, a silo is a tower used to store grain.

The business world, however, turned silo into a metaphor, such as information silos or organizational silos, symbolizing assimilation and isolation.

These business silos function as a repository of information or power—hoarded and not shared, either by plan or by practice.

With silos, there’s an inner circle, with everyone else kept at a safe distance.

Most organizations, including churches, have silos. Many churches also have theological silos. A theological silo, usually the product of a homogenous faith community, holds to a certain set of beliefs as sacred and non-negotiable.

These may include explicit baptism beliefs, how someone becomes a Christian, a certain understanding of the end times, the role of the Holy Spirit today, a particular stance on a societal issue, and even which version of the Bible to use.

(One historical silo occurred over the requirement for men to wear neckties to church.)

Those who agree with the beliefs of the silo are invited in (usually only after they prove themselves worthy), whereas all others are kept at a distance or even shunned.

Historically, denominations formed around theological silos and then later became silos themselves, often exclusive, closed-minded, and dogmatic to a fault.

Jesus desired unity; he prayed we would be as one. Let’s tear down our silos and embrace one another—especially those who are different—just like Jesus did.

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Tags community, denominations, faith, theology

Christian Living

Should a Christian Community be Homogeneous or Heterogeneous?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date August 4, 2013

It’s fun to be in the company of likeminded individuals. It’s comfortable to hang out with people similar to us. But are fun and comfortable, necessarily good things? Do they promote personal growth and advance understanding?

Being with people like us?—uniform or at least similar in perspective—is a homogeneous experience. The opposite of homogeneous is heterogeneous. A heterogeneous community is diverse, comprised of dissimilar people.

They might look, talk, dress, or act differently. Perhaps they hail from distinct neighborhoods, cultures, or even countries. They could be rich or poor or somewhere in between.

They might embrace diverging priorities, worldviews, political alliances, or (gasp) even hold to an alternate theology.

How comfortable are we spending time with people who view God differently than we do? Will we bask in a diversity of perspectives or cringe over perceived heresy?

One of the things I learned from visiting 52 churches in a year is the grand variations in Jesus’ family.

Our vastness and distinctions are beautiful. I’m delighted to have had the experience— and I miss it now that it’s over.

I’ve heard that if two people agree on everything, than one of them isn’t needed. We must apply this to church. How can our faith grow if everyone agrees on everything?

Most churches today are homogeneous, but I think we should be heterogeneous. We need to embrace, pursue, and celebrate diversity in our faith communities.

I learn the most from those whose ideas and understanding differ from mine—or even contradict them. It’s not always a fun or comfortable place to be, but I think that’s where Jesus wants us—and where he would be.

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Tags church, community, diversity, family, heresy

Christian Living

Three Places Where I Find More

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date May 26, 2013
2 Comments on Three Places Where I Find More

Last week I posted that while the Sunday morning church service can be good, I desire more. And I do occasionally experience more. Sometimes it’s in those solitary moments with just me and the Almighty.

But the sweeter times are when I experience more in community. There are three situations when more can occur.

1. Intentional Activity

Twice a month I have the opportunity to meet with like-minded spiritual seekers.

We share, we pray, we listen, and we practice, putting our faith into action in ways that stretch us and grow us: often uncomfortable but usually encouraging.

This is my prime community of more, one that has formed me into who I am today.

2. Around Food

There are a handful of close friends who I meet with periodically at coffee shops and in our homes.

We share our lives together, not in a superficial, gossipy way, but with deep connection, encouraging and being encouraged, challenging and being challenged, serving and being served.

Life is better in their company. Together we experience more.

3. Affinity Group

Once a month, I meet with a group of Christian writers. Our intent is to share our writing. By design we don’t offer a requisite prayer to start or end our meetings. We don’t schedule time to read the Bible or share a devotional.

We focus on writing—though God is always the subtext. We are artists, sharing our creations with each other and offering them to our Creator. This is a highly spiritual experience for me, a valuable time that can provide more.

All three of these situations offer me more. They provide the more I seek, surpassing the Sunday morning church service as my key times for spiritual formation and connection with the divine.

The traditional church service pales in comparison when I encounter more.

May we all seek and find more.

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Tags church services, community, food, God, gossip, writing

Christian Living

What is a Spiritual Community?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date October 14, 2012

As a writer, I write alone; it’s a solitary activity.

So it’s good for me to periodically emerge from my self-imposed cocoon and spend time with other people—and other writers are the people who understand me best, those with who I am most comfortable to be around.

I just returned from a Christian Writers conference. It was a great time, full of information, encouragement, and rejuvenation. While writing was the focus, God was the foundation; it was a spiritual time.

As my buddy, Gerald the Writer, and I headed home, we processed out loud what we had experienced. It was a community, a spiritual community. The only problem is that it only occurs once a year.

However, the writing critique group we started happens every month. It’s also a spiritual community. We’re with kindred spirits and God is in our midst.

Our group’s focus is writing and helping each other hone our craft. Sometimes what we write is about God and other times, not, but regardless, it is all done for God.

Though we may sometimes pray, it’s not an obligation to do so according to schedule.

Though we may sometimes talk about the Bible, it’s not a preplanned activity. And if the subject of theology comes up, we quickly push it aside—it is not our goal to critique that.

Those who advocate a formula for spiritual community would dismiss us as missing out because we break all their rules.

But for us it is our spiritual community and our most significant one.

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Tags community, solitude, writing

Visiting Churches

Why is Community Important at Church?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date August 26, 2012

For the past 19 weeks, my bride and I have been visiting different churches to expand our understanding of how others worship and understand God.

We call this initiative “52 Churches” and I blog about the experience each Monday morning.

52 Churches: A Yearlong Journey Encountering God, His Church, and Our Common Faith

However, friends frequently ask for more: “What are you learning,” “Is your journey changing,” or “Have you found any churches you want to revisit?” The short answers are

We’re learning a great deal,
the vision for our sojourn is unchanged, and
there are several churches we’d like to revisit.

A key realization at this point is that it’s not about the teaching or the music; it’s about the community.

We’ve heard messages from gifted speakers and not so gifted. We’ve been taught by the formally trained and the self-trained. We’ve been presented with deep thoughts and entertaining anecdotes.

In all cases, we’ve received a worthwhile word from God. I suspect as long as we’re open to hear and expectantly pray for that to happen, it will.

Similarly, we’ve sung traditional hymns, contemporary songs, and modern praise choruses. We’ve been led by accomplished vocalists and struggling crooners.

There have been worship bands, pipe organs, and pianos, accompaniment tracks, and even a capella.

In all cases, as long as we’re willing to focus on the words, God is there.

Message and music, I’m sad to report, are not important.

The big variable is the community. Community is that time of interaction with others (aside from that awkward official greeting time). This is when connections are made and God is shared.

God seems more present in these informal interactions before and after the service than in the planned and carefully prepped moments during the service.

In a few churches, there is no community. People come, people sit, and people leave, with nary a word exchanged.

Fortunately, most churches have community and some excel at it. These are the churches I want to return to; these are the experiences that excite me; these are the moments when God is most powerfully present.

Community is church at its best.

My wife and I visited a different Christian Church every Sunday for a year. This is our story. Get your copy of 52 Churches today, available in ebook, paperback, hardcover, and audiobook.

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Tags 52 Churches, church, community, good music, good sermon

Christian Living

Let’s Get Together: Celebrating Community

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date May 1, 2011

Spend Intentional Time with Other Faith Seekers and Fellow Spiritual Pilgrims

Instead of celebrating community, in the individualistic society in which we live, most who pursue spiritual things do so in an individualistic manner—by themselves.

This is not good, and it is not wise.

Living the spiritual life is best accomplished in conjunction with others. The benefit of a collective perspective helps to protect us from making errors in judgment and reaching unwise conclusions.

Although a group consensus is not a guarantee of a sound comprehension of God, its combined input is a tremendous tool in discovering truth.

As you set to convene a cadre of spiritual seekers, avoid a leader-centric group, and instead seek an egalitarian gathering.

Unfortunately, we seldom accomplish this in a traditional church setting, which is one reason why some have given up on that practice.

Your spiritual gathering doesn’t need to meet in a church building or assemble on a Sunday morning. It can happen any day or time and can occur at someone’s home, at a coffee shop, or even a bar.

The pursuit of a spiritual life is a journey, one that is best suited and more fully enjoyed in the company of others. Attempting to travel this road on your own can result in getting lost or heading in the wrong direction.

Instead, the solution is community. Jesus lived in community. The Holy Trinity lives in community. God wants to be in community with us, and he created us to desire community with each other.

That’s why it’s important to never stop celebrating community.

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Tags biblical Christianity, church, community