Category: Christian Living

Pursuing a holistic expression of Christian faith that is true to the Bible and applicable for today’s world.

Father, Son, or Holy Spirit?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date December 11, 2022

Which Part of the Godhead Do You Focus On?

Though the Bible doesn’t use the word trinity, most followers understand God as a three-in-one deity, made up of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. God is three persons in one. Though implicitly equal, most adherents more readily embrace one form over the other. But which is it, Father, Son, or Holy Spirit?

God the Father

Some traditions focus on God the Father as their primary view of God. Yes, they value Jesus, his son, and acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s existence, but in their practice, they venerate God the Father as their primary view of God.

Father God dominates the Old Testament and forms their understanding of him. Though the Old Testament alludes to the coming Savior and the Spirit does some work, the focus is on God the Father.

God the Son

Jesus arrives in person in the New Testament, with four biographies devoted to him: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. He’s central in the Bible, central in faith, and even central in world history.

Therefore, other churches and their adherents place their focus on Jesus the Christ (the Messiah). They give him their attention, making him their priority. In the process, they downplay the other two parts of the trinity: Father and Holy Spirit.

God the Holy Spirit

When Jesus returns to heaven, his followers receive the Holy Spirit to guide them, teach them, and remind them of everything he said. The Holy Spirit stars in the book of Acts, leading Jesus’s church.

As a result, other faith practices place their primary emphasis on the work of the Holy Spirit in their lives. Yes, Jesus is important because he makes the Holy Spirit’s arrival possible and Father God is the point of salvation, but these believers elevate the Holy Spirit.

Which Is It?

I’ve been to churches that fit all three camps. I understand where each comes from. But who is right? Should our focus rightly be on the Father, Son, or Holy Spirit?

Jesus provides the way to the Father; he is not the destination. Does that make the Father more important? Also consider that after his victory over death, Jesus must leave before the Holy Spirit can arrive. Does that make the Holy Spirit—who guides Jesus’s church today—more important?

If Jesus is the way to the Father and must leave before the Holy Spirit can arrive, does that make him less important than the other two?

Or is it the opposite, with Jesus as preeminent? After all, without Jesus to make the way to the Father or open the door for the Holy Spirit nothing else matters.

We Need Balance

Though our various faith practices elevate one part of the godhead over the other two, we need not concern ourselves with the question of Father, Son, or Holy Spirit?

Instead, we must equally embrace all three, pursuing a holistic, trinitarian understanding of God.

The correct perspective is that we must balance our view of God, equally esteeming Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

May it be so.

Peter DeHaan writes about biblical Christianity to confront status quo religion and live a life that matters. He seeks a fresh approach to following Jesus through the lens of Scripture, without the baggage of made-up traditions and meaningless practices.

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Tags faith, Heavenly Father, Holy Spirit, Jesus, trinity

Christian Living

What Does the Bible Mean When It Says, “All Scripture?”

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date December 4, 2022
2 Comments on What Does the Bible Mean When It Says, “All Scripture?”

The Whole Bible Can Teach Us about God and Instruct Us in His Ways

One verse I heard often at a particular church I attended was 2 Timothy 3:16. It says, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,” (KJV).

This verse was cited to remind us of the holiness and practical applicability of the Bible to inform our daily lives. According to this preacher, “all scripture” referred to the KJV, the only version he accepted.

However, let’s consider the phrase all scripture. When Paul wrote these words to Timothy, the New Testament didn’t exist. So Paul couldn’t have been referring to that text.

Yes, there were various portions of what later became the New Testament being circulated among the followers of Jesus, but they also shared other texts that didn’t make it into today’s Bible. Therefore, Paul couldn’t have meant for all scripture to encompass the New Testament.

From Paul’s perspective, when he said, all scripture, he envisioned the texts that were available to the Jewish people at that time. This would certainly include the Old Testament) and may have included other supporting religious documents).

The version of the Bible in use in Paul’s time was the Septuagint, a Greek translation of the Old Testament. The Septuagint included the thirty-nine books Protestants have in their Old Testament, but it also included more.

The Septuagint used during the lifetime of Jesus and Paul, also included the books we now call the Apocrypha. So these books of the Apocrypha would fall under Paul’s umbrella term of all scripture.

And for my preacher friend who insisted on reading the Bible in the KJV, I must point out that the original version of the KJV included the Apocrypha.

That’s something to think about.

If the Apocrypha is part of what Paul meant when he said, all scripture, then the Apocrypha is also “useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.”

The Books of the Apocrypha Included in the Septuagint Are:

1 Esdras
1 Maccabees
2 Maccabees
Baruch
Bel and the Dragon (sometimes called Daniel 14)
The Letter of Jeremiah
Judith
The Prayer of Azariah / the Song of the Three Young Men (sometimes inserted into Daniel 3)
The Prayer of Manasseh
Sirach / Ecclesiasticus
Susanna (sometimes called Daniel 13)
Tobit
Wisdom
Expanded Esther (additional text for Esther)

See why Christians Should Consider the Entire Bible.

When Paul writes that all scripture is profitable, I take him seriously. And I encourage you to as well.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is 2 Timothy 1-4 and today’s post is on 2 Timothy 3:16.]

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Tags Apocrypha, Bible, Maccabees, Paul

Christian Living

One Body with Many Members: Correct the Church Membership Fallacy

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 27, 2022

Instead of Joining a Church, Align Yourself with Jesus

Most churches talk about church membership—a lot. Some treat it as the next step after salvation, even as if it’s salvation part two. It’s not. And if your church is part of a denomination, membership in the local church is automatic membership in the denomination.

Church Membership

With membership, many carry a smug pride of religious superiority. Others expect their membership to provide them with benefits.

Some church membership benefits are explicit, carrying specified privileges. These include being able to vote at meetings, eligibility for certain church positions, and enjoying a higher status than nonmembers, who are mere attendees.

Other church membership benefits are assumed. Basically, this means our ministers must be available whenever we need them. This includes celebrating our special events, dealing with any crisis we may encounter, and listening to our “concerns” about some church issue or theology. When we say “jump,” they’re supposed to act.

Denomination Membership

Church denominations used to be much more important than they are now. Church members were loyal to their denomination.

When they moved, they sought out a church in their same denomination. And as a member of the denomination, they’d be accepted without question at the new church—even though no one knew them. It was a simple matter to transfer their membership to the new congregation.

Most denominations struggle today. They’re losing members (and affiliated churches) at an alarming rate. Some had scandals. Others faced a theological rift between polarized perspectives, where it was impossible to please everyone. And the dissenters voiced their frustration by leaving.

Most denominations have become nothing more than institutions fighting for survival. Membership numbers are the way they gage their battle.

What Does the Bible Say?

Scripture never mentions church membership. There are no commands to join a local church. The apostle Paul, however, does talk about members. He repeatedly says that we are members of one body. That’s right. Not a church or a denomination, but a body—one body.

He writes that there is one body. He tells this to the church in Rome (Romans 12:5), Ephesus (Ephesians 3:6 and Ephesians 4:25), and Colossae (Colossians 3:15). He even gets more specific, saying we are members of his body, that is Jesus’s body, the body of Christ (Ephesians 2:19-20, Ephesians 5:29-30 and 1 Corinthians 6:15a).

There is one body with many members, each with their own function (Romans 12:3-4).

What Does Jesus Want?

In his final prayer before his execution, Jesus prayed that we—his future followers—would be one, just as he and Papa are one. Why is this? By being one, we become the optimum witness to the world so that they may believe (John 17:20-21).

Jesus knew that if we divided ourselves by forming denominations, we would divide ourselves and our witness, fracturing the ideas of one body in the process.

He knew that by establishing church memberships, we would divide ourselves—and his one body—into two levels of followers, with some in and others second-class.

Jesus wants us to be members of one body, the universal body of Christ. We automatically become a member when we follow Jesus. Local church membership doesn’t matter.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Tags church attendance, denominations, follow Jesus, Jesus, membership

Christian Living

Hold on to Every Thought

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 22, 2022

Make Our Thoughts Obedient to Jesus

Paul tells the church in Corinth to capture every thought and make it obedient to Jesus. Likewise, Proverbs advises us to guard our thoughts (Proverbs 4:23). (Some translations say to guard our hearts, putting a different twist on the same concept).

This is often hard to do—but not impossible.

Though I’m still working on it, my solution is to distract myself from wayward thoughts. When I remember to do this, they usually dissipate quickly. My distractions take two forms:

Quote the Bible

The first verse that comes to mind is in James: “Resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7). This is good advice to follow, but when I cite it, I end up focusing on what I’m trying to escape. It doesn’t help me control my every thought.

Instead, my go to verse is from Revelation: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come” (Revelation 4:8). This passage places my focus on God, praising him, worshiping him, and acknowledging his eternal existence.” The enemy doesn’t like that.

I end up reciting this verse just about every day, often multiple times.

Pray

Another way I distract myself from wrong thinking is to pray. The enemy doesn’t like that either. However, I don’t pray that I’ll stop thinking wrong thoughts or for strength to hold them captive; that also focuses my attention on what I’m trying to escape. Instead I pray for someone else.

Just as I have one predetermined verse, I have one predetermined person who I will automatically pray for when wrong thoughts beckon. This keeps me from wasting time, trying to determine who I should pray for and gets me to the praying part quickly.

Capturing every thought and subjecting it to Jesus is usually quite easy when I remember to cite scripture or pray. The key is remembering to do so.

[Read through the Bible with us this year. Today’s reading is 2 Corinthians 10-13, and today’s post is on 2 Corinthians 10:5.]

Read more in Peter’s book, Love is Patient (book 7 in the Dear Theophilus series).

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Tags pray, read the Bible

Christian Living

What Do You Think about Retirement?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 20, 2022

Working for God Is What Matters Most

I’ve worked from home since 2000. Over the years curious neighbors, seeing me at home during the day, have asked if I’m retired. I smile and shake my head. More recently the question has shifted to “When are you going to retire?” Again, I shake my head. Retirement isn’t on my radar.

In truth I’m not planning on retiring—ever. My hope is that I’ll be able to write until the day I die. Toward that end, I pray that my writing will continue to improve throughout the rest of my career. God is not calling me to retire but to write. My purpose is to advance his kingdom through my words.

I need to have a reason to get up each morning—and for me that is to write. If I didn’t have work to look forward to, I fear I would squander my day, filling it with secondary activities and useless pursuits. Retirement could do that for me.

Retirement From Work

For some, labor emerges as a draining drudgery that they can’t wait to escape. They work to earn a living and as soon as they retire, they’ll let their retirement benefits and investments pay their bills without the need to toil to receive a paycheck.

Others retire out of necessity. The physical demands of their labors have taken a toll on their bodies, making work an increasingly difficult or painful task. Or it could be that the mental acuity needed to perform at peak levels has slipped enough to make continued work inadvisable. These cases all call for retirement.

Then there is mandatory retirement, usually age related.

I hear of people retiring at fifty-five or in their forties, even as young as thirty-eight. What will they do with the rest of their life? Given our increasing life expectancies, they could end up with more years retired than worked.

Never Retire from God

Though we may opt to or need to retire from work, we shouldn’t adopt a similar attitude toward God. What he calls us to do for him doesn’t have a retirement age. We should continue our labors for him for as long as he gives us breath.

Each new day is a gift, and we shouldn’t waste it. We should wake with anticipation on our minds: “God, what are we going to do today?”

Yes, the details of our work for God may change as we age, but the privilege to live a life of service to him never ends.

Don’t Wait

I often hear people talk about their retirement plans, of what they’ll do when they retire. Of all the extra time they’ll have to serve God. Though they may be too busy now, they’ll have plenty of time once they retire. Except that they usually don’t have more time.

Many a retiree has told me, “I’m way busier now than when I was working.” I suspect that if they’re not serving God when they’re working, they’ll not find the time to do so when they retire.

Therefore, don’t wait to serve God when it’s more convenient or you expect to have more time. Do it now. By developing the practice of serving God now, you’ll be in a better position to continue that—or even expand on it—when retirement rolls around.

Do It Now

What is God calling you to do? What are you passionate about or interested in? Seek ways to pursue these things now. Don’t put them off until later, because later may never come.

If you’re already retired from work, how can you use your retirement years to better serve God. And if you’re looking forward to retirement, there’s no need to change course. Just make an adjustment to what you do now, so that retirement can move you into a more God-honoring season in your life.

Though you can retire from work, don’t retire from God.

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Tags serve God, work

Christian Living

Jesus Is the Way, Not the Destination

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 13, 2022

Our Focus Should be on Our Heavenly Father

Most Christians revere Jesus and place him at the center of their faith. Indeed, all of history revolves around Jesus’s saving work that he did for us—for everyone—when he died in our place, sacrificing himself for the wrong things we’ve done.

The Old Testament builds up to this, the four biographies of Jesus explain this, and the rest of the New Testament—along with everything that has happened in our world since then—flows from what he did. Yet Jesus is not the end. He is the means to the end.

Jesus Is the Way

In the Bible, Jesus often implores people to “follow me”. If he expects people to follow him, this mean that he knows the right way to go.

In the gospel of John, Jesus directly says that he is the way (John 14:6). He is not the destination, but simply the path to reach the destination. In fact, he says he is the way, the truth, and the life.

Peter explains that we can find our salvation through him and only through him (Acts 4:12). This means that Jesus is the way.

Jesus Is the Gate

In another place in the book of John, Jesus calls himself the gate for the sheep. All who enter through the gate will be saved (John 10:7-9).

He is our shepherd, our Good Shephard. We, as his sheep, know his voice and follow him. He protects us from evil, from thieves and robbers intent on doing us harm. (Read Jesus’s full teaching on this in John 10:1-18.)

In another place, Jesus calls himself the narrow gate (Matthew 7:13-14). He urges us to take this path.

What Is the Result?

Since Jesus is the way to—and the gate of—the sheep pen, what does the pen symbolize? It has both present and future significance.

For now, the sheep pen—with Jesus as the gate—represents our spiritual community, our fellowship with others who believe in and follow him. He is the gate that lets us into this existence here on earth today.

For later, we can take assurance that the sheep pen represents our eternity in heaven. Jesus is also the way and the gate that opens the doors for heaven, where we’ll live with him forever.

The Father Is the Destination

The result of following Jesus as the way—and going through him as the narrow gate—is heaven. Yet this misses one thing that’s even more important: the Father. After Jesus says he is the way, he adds that no one can come to the Father if they don’t go through him (John 14:6). Jesus is the way to the Father.

Jesus dies as the solution to our sin problem. In doing so, he makes us right with Father God and reconciles us into a right relationship with him. Yes, we will live forever in heaven, but we will live there with the Father. The Father is the focus of heaven.

Jesus is the way, and the Father—our heavenly Father—is the destination. May we never forget this.

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Tags heaven, Heavenly Father, Jesus, salvation

Christian Living

Do You Worship Father, Son, or Holy Spirit?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date November 6, 2022

Which Part of the Trinity Most Receives Your Attention?

The Bible talks about God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. We intellectually know that these three parts of the Trinity exist, but what is the reality of our spiritual practice? Most Christians prefer one part of the godhead over the other. They make that facet of God their primary focus, while diminishing or even forgetting the other two.

Churches, too, tend to emphasize one part—Father, Son, or Holy Spirit—in their religious practices. I’ve gone to all three types of churches, have friends in all three, and understand all three.

In what follows, I’ll speak in generalities; that means there are exceptions. If one part of my summary offends you, ask yourself if I may have hit too close to home.

In our discussion of Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, I outline three considerations:

Father God

The first group of Christians focus their faith on Father God. They worship him and serve him. He is the reason for their existence—intellectually so—and the center of their worship—albeit more stoic in nature. Though he is their Heavenly Father, they are more apt to refer to him as God than as Father. He also tends to be a more distant deity in their faith practice and daily living.

Jesus is a secondary part of their faith. They revere him as a good man, a wise teacher, and a worthy example. Mentally they acknowledge him as Savior, but it doesn’t often go beyond that. And they give the Holy Spirit minimal attention, treating him like an eccentric relative that they know exists but try to ignore.

Jesus, the Son

Another group of Christians celebrate Jesus as the center of their faith. Having a personal relationship with him—according to their specific theological constructs—is the only thing that matters. Once they’ve done that, their card is punched, and they’re going to heaven, where they’ll spend eternity with him. Oh, and Father God will be there too.

The Heavenly Father is part of their faith, But in practice and in thought, he’s often secondary to Jesus. They forget that Jesus is the way, not the destination. They acknowledge the work of the Holy Spirit but have scaled back their acceptance of his work from what the Bible proclaims to what better aligns with their own practices and experiences today.

Holy Spirit

The third group of Christians put the work and power of the Holy Spirit in the center of their faith and daily practices. It starts with a relationship with Jesus and culminates with the infilling power of the Holy Spirit in their lives—often proved by speaking in tongues. Once a rigid expectation, speaking in tongues is now more a preferred—but not required—outcome for most practices.

Though Jesus and the Father are part of their faith, the extreme emphasis on the Holy Spirit tends to diminish them in the process.

A Holistic Perspective

Though you might insist on some exceptions, you likely identify with one of these three camps over the other two. But before you affirm your perspective as right and the other two as wrong, let me suggest that despite the good aspects of each group, none are correct.

It is not an issue of Father, Son, or Holy Spirit, but a holistic call to equally embrace all three in our theology, worship, and service.

It should be Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. May we move forward to evenly embrace all three.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Tags Heavenly Father, Holy Spirit, Jesus, theology, trinity, worship

Christian Living

Does Your Faith Depend on Signs and Wonders?

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date October 30, 2022

Believe in Jesus and Receive the Holy Spirit

Jesus said, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will never believe” (John 4:48, NIV). It’s a warning we should all consider with care. Some people have an experience-driven faith. They need a continual dose of signs and wonders to sustain their trust in God.

What Are Signs and Wonders?

Signs and wonders refer to supernatural manifestations of Holy Spirit power. These miraculous events escape tangible explanation.

They can include healing people, receiving a prophetic word, having supernatural insight, even raising people from the dead, and so on—just as we read in the Bible and as Jesus promised we would do.

The Error of Excess

There’s nothing wrong with signs and wonders, but to expect them to occur on a regular basis in ordinary life is not reality for most people (though for some it’s normal).

These individuals continually seek out signs and wonders by traveling from conference to conference and jumping from event to event.

They need a supernatural experience to give them a spiritual boost. Yet eventually the effects of the mystical elixir fades. Dismayed over the void that is left, the spiritual adventurer goes out in a desperate search for more.

And they are often distraught until they find it, crying out for God to provide.

So continues a never-satiated cycle to sustain their experience-driven faith.

The Error of Absence

The opposite of those who need to see signs and wonders to maintain their belief in God, are those who deny the very existence of the supernatural.

They explain away Holy Spirit power in the church today because it’s not something they have personally encountered—or are willing to accept as possible.

To justify their position, they go through theological gyrations to rationalize what they want to believe—or what they aren’t willing to accept. Their explanation is weak at best.

A Balanced Perspective of Signs and Wonders

I know people—and love people—in both camps. They are on a spiritual journey with Jesus, just like me. On our walk with our Savior, we all need to avoid the error of both extremes when it comes to signs and wonders.

We must have a sustainable faith that doesn’t depend on experiencing signs and wonders and at the same time have a biblical faith that accepts the work of the Holy Spirit.

Just as chasing an experience-driven faith is bad, so is denying it.

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Tags faith, Holy Spirit, miracle

Christian Living

7 Tips to Form a Bible Reading Habit

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date October 23, 2022

Be Intentional About Spending Time in God’s Word Each Day

I read Scripture every day and have for most of my adult life. I’ve formed a Bible reading habit. It’s become an essential part of my life, just like eating and sleeping.

Reading God’s Word has become natural and normal for me. And I encourage everyone to develop a daily Bible reading habit too. Yet I understand this is a struggle for many. A friend recently asked for any suggestions I might have to help form a Bible reading habit.

Here are my seven Bible reading tips:

1. Select a Time

Pick what time of day will work best for you to read the Bible. For many people this is first thing in the morning, as a start to their day. Others like to end their day by reading Scripture. Or there may be another time that works best for you.

As you figure out what time each day you give to God to read Scripture, be sure to give him your best time slot. Don’t give him what’s leftover. Avoid trying to squeeze Bible reading between other aspects of your life. Just as God desires for you to make him a priority in your life, the same applies to when you read his Word.

The important thing is to decide on a time to read the Bible each day. Then do it.

2. Start Small

Don’t make a grandiose plan. Start small. Just as it would be foolish for a runner who only runs short distances sporadically to decide they’re going to run a marathon the next day, the same applies to Bible reading. Don’t commit to reading the entire Bible in one year if you scarcely read it at all now.

Set a low goal that will be easy for you to achieve. This will allow you to find quick success and encourage you to press forward.

If you’re just starting out, I suggest you commit to read one verse a day. Just one. It will only take a few seconds.

I recommend that you read from your favorite book in the Bible. Make it easy to do, keep it simple, and make sure it’s enjoyable.

3. Set a One-Month Goal

Read one verse every day for at least a month. This will establish a habit of regular Bible reading. Though one month is often enough to form a regular routine, it could take two or three months for a good habit to develop.

The goal is to get to a point where you automatically read your Bible at the time you picked each day. The intent is for Bible reading to become an essential part of your daily practices.

Just as we would never forget to eat a meal or skip sleep, reading the Bible deserves the same perspective.

4. Keep the Momentum Going

After one month, build upon your success and keep the momentum going.

If keeping a streak will help motivate you, make a chart to track each day you read your Bible. The goal is an unbroken chain of daily Bible reading. Keep your streak going.

Or if you can motivate yourself through rewards, set a small prize for yourself each week. Do this on a specific day. Pick an incentive that means something to you and will motivate you. Then choose a larger reward for the end of each month.

5. Expand Your Practice

Once you’ve established a habit of daily Bible reading, you can then consider reading more than one verse each day. You might want to move from one verse to one paragraph.

Later you might want to move from one paragraph to one section. Just as most Bibles put the text in paragraph form, they often group similar related paragraphs together in the section, often with a subheading.

6. Consider Setting an Annual Goal.

Once you’ve done this for a full year. You’ll have surely formed a regular Bible reading habit. It’s perfectly acceptable to continue what you been doing over the past year into the future.

Yet if you want to read more, consider reading a chapter a day. Here are some ideas to guide you in this, such as monthly reading options, reading the New Testament in one year, and reading the Old Testament in one year.

I encourage everyone to at some point read the entire Bible in one year. This is a commitment which will take 12 to 15 minutes every day, so don’t start with this right away.

It would be like trying to run a marathon before you trained, so build up your Bible reading skills, just as a runner would build up to a marathon.

7. Pursue Balance in Your Bible Reading

Regardless of how much of the Bible you decide to read each day, remember that it’s not about the number of verses you read (quantity) but the impact your reading has on you (quality).

May God bless you as you read his Word and form a Bible reading habit.

Read more in his books, blog, and weekly email updates.

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Tags Bible Reading, habits, read the Bible, spiritual discipline

Christian Living

Help One Another

Post author By Peter DeHaan
Post date October 16, 2022

We Must Be Willing to Share Our Concerns If We Hope to Receive Help

One of my newsletter subscribers emailed me with a question. He wants to do what the Bible says about loving one another (such as in 1 John 3:11).

He’s willing to sacrifice to meet the needs of his brothers and sisters in Jesus, but how can he do that when he doesn’t know what their needs are? How can he hope to help one another?

Even praying for them—something everyone can do—is hard when they won’t share what their needs are.

When his church takes prayer requests, “the tendency is to request prayer for someone else who is sick” he says, and not themselves. “It seems that the lack of openness and transparency prevents Christians from fulfilling the command to love one another.”

I get this. I’ve experienced it.

I too often hear people complain about their spiritual community for not being there to help one another—of helping them during their time of crisis.

Yet they guard their struggle as if it’s a huge secret and won’t let anyone know what they’re dealing with. How can Jesus’s church love one another, help one another, and pray for one another, when we keep them in the dark?

A Friend in Need

Once God brought to my mind a friend who had moved away. The Holy Spirit prompted me to reach out to him because he was struggling. Beyond that I had no clarification.

Did God want me to pray for him? Was I to encourage him? Perhaps I was supposed to visit him to help with something or just to be present. Or was the need financial?

It had been a couple of years since we had any direct contact, but through others I knew the general trajectory his life had taken. So, I wasn’t surprised when the Holy Spirit told me to reach out to him.

I emailed him and told him that God brought him to my mind that morning. “How are things going for you and your family? Do you need anything? How can I pray for you?”

He responded later that day, giving me a glowing report of his life, his work, and God’s provisions.

I felt a failure for thinking his life was in crisis. According to his report, he was doing better than me. I assumed I hadn’t heard correctly from God. It sometimes happens. But I wondered how I’d gotten things so wrong when the instruction seemed so clear.

Discouraged, I pushed aside my desire to help one another and my failure to correctly hear the Holy Spirit’s nudging.

A year later he and his family were in town. He invited me and some other long-ago friends to visit them at a vacation condo someone had gifted them with for two weeks.

We had a marvelous time catching up and renewing our friendship. During a quieter moment in their visit, it was just my friend and me.

He gulped hard and told me about the struggle he had the year before, how he lost about everything and the difficulty he and his family went through. I asked him when, and he told me August. That was when he was at his lowest. It was in August when I had emailed him.

I wanted to scream. “I would have helped you! I was ready to do whatever I could. But you didn’t give me a chance.”

Yet I kept my frustration to myself, because letting him know now of my readiness to help then would do nothing to alleviate the pain he went through.

I’d heard right from the Holy Spirit after all. Should I have pressed into my friend’s assurance that everything was okay? Should I have tried harder to help him even though he said everything was fine?

Basically, he lied to me. As a result, he missed the blessings God was preparing to give him through me—and perhaps others.

If we are to help one another, our community must be appropriately transparent and honest.

We Must Seek Balance

We all know people in a perpetual crisis. Their life seems to bounce from one disaster to another, and they’re always pulling everyone around them into it. It’s a quick way to lose friends and alienate others, especially when their own bad decisions are the continual cause of their problems.

Yet to avoid being that person, we often overreact to this concern, shielding others from our struggles. When we do this, we miss God’s blessings through them, and they miss the opportunity to serve us in Jesus’s name.

We must learn how to properly share the difficulties of our lives with others and avoid being stoic when we should be honest.

This is the only way we can hope to help one another.

Two Questions to Help One Another

If we are to truly help one another, we must ask ourselves two questions:

1. Who should I share my concerns with?

2. Who needs my help, even if they insist that they don’t?

And if we don’t know the answer to the second question, we can pray for them (James 5:16). Though I did pray for my friend, despite his insistence that everything was fine, I could have been more diligent about it.

In the future, when the Holy Spirit’s direction doesn’t align with what people tell me, I’m going to defer to God.

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Tags Holy Spirit, love, pray